


Just Let Them Be Happy: A Mass Effect Fanfiction

by tommykevans3



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Action/Adventure, Anal Sex, Awkward Flirting, Boys In Love, Dating, Dorks in Love, Eventual Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Falling In Love, Flirting, Friendship/Love, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, Interspecies Awkwardness, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Kinks, M/M, Mass Effect 3: Citadel, Oral Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, Science Fiction, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:28:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 30,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24543865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tommykevans3/pseuds/tommykevans3
Summary: Morgan Shepard has had a terrible life. All he wants is for this war to be over...so he can rest. He tends to find comfort in his turian counterpart, but he feels something. Something he's never felt. That hole that has been in his life for so long has been too heavy of a burden to carry. He needs it to be filled as soon as possible...with Garrus. Whether that's a pun or not is up to you to decide and figure out.
Relationships: Male Shepard & Garrus Vakarian, Male Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Comments: 31
Kudos: 79





	1. Static and Silence

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how long this story will go on for, but I have lots of ideas. First, a few things -
> 
> 1\. This'll take place during and after the events of Mass Effect 3  
> 2\. This series will cover many stages of their relationship; before, during, and everything in between.  
> 3\. Internal and external conflicts will come around to try and stop them - because life isn't perfect.  
> 4\. Mass Effect biology (and canon) will be slightly altered - again, because life isn't perfect. 
> 
> I love these characters so much and (like the title suggests) I just want them to be happy. I hope you enjoy their journey.  
> -Tommy

The Normandy’s Debriefing Room was unnervingly quiet. The low rumble of the ship’s core could be heard a couple floors below, as well as the occasional click from the pipework in the wall. Other than that, one could hear a pin drop. The ship was never this quiet, not even when half the crew was abducted by The Collectors eight months prior. 

Commander Morgan Shepard, still fully armored, sat in a corner of the room, his legs supporting his limp arms. His breaths were staggered and deep, the weight of his armor heavy on his sore back. He looked straight into the floor, barely blinking.

His squad, dispersed around the room, stared at him. They watched his body rise and fall with each breath. They couldn’t see his face through his darkened helmet. He was just...sitting there. After what felt like hours of silence, Ashley broke it.

“Do you think he fell asleep?”

“No. He’s probably dead,” Javik sneered. 

“My readings indicate that Shepard’s vital signs are perfectly normal,” EDI chirped. Javik rolled his multiple eyes at her inability to pick up the joke. 

“I’ve never seen him like this after a mission,” said Tali from the floor, with her legs folded up against her chest, “not that I necessarily blame him.” Liara, standing near, forced herself to hold in her tears and bit down on her quivering lip. Tali reached her hand up to grab hold of Liara’s. The asari gripped it forcefully. 

“I’m sure Shepard is just thinking about what to do next,” EDI said, testing her optimism features. “He’s a very logical man.”

“Yeah, well  _ I’m _ sure he loves listening to you all talk about him as if he isn’t right there,” said James, as he pointed at him in the corner. “Commander?” he asked, trying to get his attention.

“Commander?” Ashley and Tali asked in unison.

“Human Spectre,” said Javik. 

Shepard just sat there, looking at the floor. He couldn’t hear any of them calling for him. He had completely blocked out his surroundings. His fingers twitched inside his armored gloves, and a pool of sweat started gathering in his boots. The only time he blinked was to get the beads of sweat from off his eyelashes. 

His mind flashed back to the last hour...

  * Complete and utter rage consumed him as he watched Kai Leng back-flip onto a ship like a stuck-up acrobat. Eager to not let him escape, Shepard chased after the ship as it started to fly away. He had never run so fast in his life. With clenched knuckles, he raised his pistol in the air and shot off four clips at the ship. He was hoping at least one bullet would travel far enough to strike Kai Leng in the head (or at least damage him), but none of them did. He chucked the pistol over his head and watched it fall to the crumbling planet below him. 
  * His fingers sprung to his ear as he heard someone trying to access his comms. It was an asari Lieutenant, and she was calling for help. Shepard tried to request her location, but it was too late. He listened to her audio cut out as a Reaper touched down. Another one touched down immediately after, then another. 
  * He turned around to see Liara fall to her knees. He wanted to rush over and help her up, but he was frozen. He couldn’t help but fall to his knees as well. The sounds of the Reapers bellowed in his eardrums, but he still managed to hear Liara’s sobs. 



All Shepard could hear was static. This wasn’t anything new for him, but normally it was just an annoying ringing in his ears whenever he hit his head too hard or whenever a grenade would go off nearby. Not this time.  _ All  _ he could hear was static. 

“WHY WON’T ANYONE HELP US?” The asari Lieutenant’s voice rang through his head as he looked at the floor. “SOMEONE, PLEASE!” He could feel her blood-curdling screams travel through his teeth, followed by the bellow of the Reapers. He winced at the thought of that poor woman’s audio cutting out as she pleaded for help. 

Then, it was back to static. He wasn’t sure how long these sounds would last for. It felt as though he hadn’t moved in days. He didn’t know if anyone was even in the same room as him, and if they were, he certainly couldn’t hear them if they were trying to get his attention. Then suddenly, he heard a familiar voice.

“Shepard?” 

He snapped out of his daze and shuttered against the wall when he saw his entire squad staring at him. Garrus was standing in the doorway. It was his voice that got his attention. Shepard quickly stood up.

Shepard scanned the room, reading his teammates’ faces. James and Ashley raised their eyebrows in concern, EDI stood upright awaiting instructions, Javik was...well, Javik, and even though he couldn’t see her face, he could tell through her body language that Tali was upset. 

He saw Liara’s big, beautiful blue eyes tremble in her skull. Silent tears streamed down her face. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how she must have felt. She just witnessed her homeworld fall to the Reapers. He admired her composure. 

He turned and looked at… _ Garrus. _ Garrus had been one of his closest friends in recent years, yet, he could never read the turian’s facial expressions. That typically wouldn’t bother him, but at that moment in time, he really wanted to know what he was thinking. 

Shepard said something. He stood there for a moment, wondering why no one said anything back. He forgot that he had turned off his helmet audio so no one could hear him cry. He flicked it back on. 

“Tell Joker to set a course for Horizon.” He felt his knees start to give way. Before anyone could respond, he said, “Nevermind, I’ll tell him myself.” He darted swiftly towards the exit. He struggled to not look at Garrus on his way out. 

James raised his arm up in a salute as Shepard walked by. “Commander.” 

“Don’t salute me, James,” Shepard croaked. He could feel his lips quivering as he struggled for air. As he made his way to the elevator, he wrestled his helmet off his head and threw it to the floor. The heart-wrenching sound of the clanging metal rattled throughout the entire ship. One could have sworn it could be heard in space. 

* * *

Garrus slowly eased his face into the hallway. He watched as Shepard limped past the Normandy’s Memorial. Shepard dragged his fingers across “Mordin Solus” and “Thane Krios” on the wall without looking. He had walked past it so many times that he memorized where their plaques were placed. 

Everyone was frozen as they heard Shepard’s frantic breaths fade away once the elevator doors closed. Liara wiped her eyes and strode out of the room towards her cabin. The sounds of her wails from inside made their way to the Debriefing room. After a minute or two, the rest of them dispersed.

“Well. That was a bit dramatic,” Javik said as he walked away. 

Garrus stood in the hallway. He had gotten a quick glimpse of Shepard’s face before he went into the elevator. It looked pretty similar to how it did on Thessia; Shepard’s eyes were blood red with thick streams of tears falling down his cheeks. He heard the human’s teeth grind against each other as his jaw looked as though it would rip right out of his skin. He had never seen him that angry before, running after Kai Leng’s ship, shooting into the air. He had to help both him and Liara off the ground.

He stepped forward a few paces and looked at Shepard’s helmet on the ground. He picked it up and moved it around in his hands. He traced the N7 symbol on the side with one of his talons. He felt...weird. He considered Shepard a good friend, as he was one of the few humans that treated him like an equal. Sure, he had seen him angry before, but he had never seen him that  _ furious.  _ He had also seen him tired and worn out before, but he had never seen him as though he would fall apart any second, nor having what looked like to be a panic attack. He didn’t like seeing his friend that way. He gripped the helmet in his hands and felt himself begin to shake. One of his fingers slipped and the talon left a white scratch along the metal.

He felt something wrap around his body. It was Tali. She looked up at him, hoping her hug was comforting him. Not being one to show much affection, Garrus lifted his arm and patted her shoulder. 

The two sat together at the bar in the lounge. Tali was already a few glasses down, but Garrus didn’t feel like drinking. He kept looking at Shepard’s helmet on the table. He tried distracting himself by scrolling through his omni-tool. Tali shook a drink in his face, but he waved it away.

“What’s got you down in the dumps, Garrus Vakarian?” she asked drunkenly.

“Hm? Nothing,” he answered.

“Nonsense. You never turn down a drink with me.”

“I guess I’m just not in the mood tonight.”

“That’s okay.” She placed her quarian hand on top of the helmet and traced the scratch Garrus had made. “I feel bad for Shepard.”

“Yeah...me too,” he replied. He felt awful.

“And for Liara.” Garrus nodded in agreement. “I know she lost her homeworld and all,” she continued, “but I can’t imagine what Shepard must be feeling. I’m sure he thinks he let her down.”

“Probably. There was only so much he could do, you know.”

“I know, I know.” Tali kept rambling. “But I bet he feels extra bad considering they used to have a thing.”

Garrus perked his head up when he heard this. “Oh?”

“Yeah, not long after we recruited her all those years ago. They look really pretty together,” she sloshed. 

“Hm. I didn’t know that.” He didn’t. He went back to “work” on his omni-tool.

“Liara and I used to talk about it all the time. I’m surprised you  _ boys  _ didn’t.”

“I’m not a  _ boy _ .” 

Tali chuckled to herself. “Well, anyways, he feels bad for breaking up with her and now he feels extra bad for her losing her homeworld...I bet,” she hiccuped. “And now neither of them are going to have anyone to comfort them during this madness.”

Garrus huffed to himself. Why didn’t he know that Shepard and Liara were an item? Him and Shepard talked all the time. Well, not really about anything personal, he thought. He was just surprised it hadn’t come up in conversation is all. Why was he getting slightly worked up over this? He wanted to find Shepard and talk to him. He wanted to try and calm him down. Maybe he’d want someone to vent to right now. But then again, he might not want to be disturbed, he did seem pretty upset. He could at least give him back his helmet, he thought. Garrus grabbed it. “I’m going to give this back to Shepard.” Tali’s head fell to the table and she was off to sleep. He left the lounge. 

He rode the elevator up to the second floor floor. He tapped the helmet, thinking about what he was going to say. He stepped out and made his way towards the cockpit before he stopped in his tracks.

Shepard was sitting in EDI’s chair. His armor weighed heavily on his shoulders. He was crying with his head in his hands. 

Garrus couldn’t make out what he was saying, but he saw Joker reach out and place a hand on Shepard’s leg. Better to leave them alone, he thought to himself. He took one last glance at the sobbing Commander before he walked away.

* * *

Shepard slumped into the elevator. They’d be at Horizon in a few hours, so he wanted to get some sort of sleep. He started disassembling his armor as he rode the box up. He let the metal pieces fall to his side. He went to take his helmet off, but forgot he had done that a while ago. He should go back and get it, he thought, but he didn’t feel like it.

Talking to Joker made him forget about the static in his ears, but he wasn’t talking to Joker anymore. The sound of it reminded him of nails on a chalkboard. He banged his head a couple times on the wall, hoping it would go away. It didn’t. He cursed at how stupidly slow the elevator was moving. 

Finally, the doors opened. He walked like a zombie towards his cabin, leaving his armor pieces behind. He’d get them later. Just before he got to the door, he stopped. Sitting at his feet was his helmet. He noticed a long, white scratch mark down the side of it. He smiled. He took a deep breath and let out a relieved exhale. The static was gone. All he heard was blissful silence. 


	2. Regret and Vulnerability

Shepard sprung up in his bed. His hands gripped the white sheets intensely, almost pulling them out from under the mattress. Sweat oozing from his pores, he ran his fingers through his thick brown hair, unsticking strands that were stuck to his forehead. He pinched the side of his arm and winced as he almost drew blood. He was awake.

He had dreamt about that boy again...and he was on fire. Only this time, he could hear the shrieks of the asari Lieutenant over the roaring flicker of the flames. At least the static was gone.

He looked up at the skylight above his bed. The endless, lonely black void of space stared back at him, making him feel smaller than ever. A blue wave from the Normandy’s shield’s surged by every couple seconds. 

The room felt incredibly empty. He smacked his arm down onto the bed and did a double-take when all he felt were sheets. He sighed. He wasn’t sure why he expected someone to be there. 

Shepard slunked out of bed and eventually made his way to his private terminal. He pushed a button, “Joker? How long ‘til we get to Horizon?” His voice filtered away.

“Just over an hour, Commander,” Joker replied. Shepard groaned. “You sound exhausted.” 

“I  _ am  _ exhausted.” He wasn’t lying. 

“Why don’t you try and get some more sleep?”

“Because I’m up now.” He wished he could go back to sleep. Even though he had slept for a few hours, it felt like seconds to him. He couldn’t think of the last time he had gotten a proper night’s sleep. “Message me when we’re ten minutes from landing.”

“Aye, Aye, Commander.” 

Shepard stood at his terminal for a minute or two before he realized Joker had logged off. His eyelids hung heavier than his armor did earlier. His knees started to wobble and he caught himself on the table. Just over an hour? Maybe I should get some sleep, he thought. He contemplated crawling back to his empty bed before he turned to look at his helmet on the floor. The long scratch next to the N7 put him at ease. He suddenly felt a little more awake and had the urge to talk to Garrus.

He splashed some cold water from the sink on his face (which woke him up even more), brushed his teeth, and went to leave. He skidded to a halt outside the elevator when he realized he was only wearing an undershirt and boxers. He really didn’t feel like putting more clothes on, but he didn’t want to make Garrus uncomfortable. He had never seen him (or any turian for that matter) outside of their armor, so he just wanted to make sure. Maybe he wouldn’t care though, but he might. He thought way too much about it. He had the decency of putting on a pair of N7 sweatpants.

Shepard chuckled to himself when he found all of his armor still piled up in the elevator. He’d have time to get it situated before they landed. 

He felt himself start to get a little nervous as he strolled towards the main battery. Visits with Garrus were quite common, but he felt weird. He was angry, upset, and exhausted all rolled into one insufferable package, and he didn’t want to burden his friend with any of his unhealthy negativity, especially now. But he really needed to talk to him. Not about any specific thing, but hearing the turian’s subvocals echo through the room really settled his nerves and calmed him down. Garrus’ voice made him feel at home, and he hadn’t felt at home in an unbearably long time. 

Shepard’s usual initial instincts were to either knock or message him that he was coming, but he just waltzed straight into the battery without thinking twice. Expecting to see his back, like always, he was surprised to see Garrus sitting in a chair in the corner of the back of the room, instead of standing upright at his console. The turian was still, looking at the floor as Shepard had done in the debriefing room. He wasn’t sure if he had even noticed he entered.

“Shepard. Need me for something?”

Shepard smiled as he heard Garrus’ classic, all-too-familiar greeting for him. “No,” he answered, “I just wanted to talk.” 

Garrus waited before responding. “Oh? About what?” 

“Nothing in particular.” He took a few steps forward and realized he didn’t have Garrus’ full attention. He hadn’t even looked at him (nor faced his direction) once. Even though he couldn’t read turian facial expressions that well, he could tell that Garrus was...off. With the way his head was hanging and the way his mouth attempted to curve, Shepard could have sworn he was frowning. “Is there something on your mind?” He tried not to pry. 

Garrus’ mind was reeling. He felt a lot of things; frustration, fatigue,  _ confusion _ . He didn’t want to add onto Shepard’s stress. “No,” he tried to say bluntly, “what about you?” He finally turned to face the human, and stopped.

The glowing aura from his wall of monitors and terminals shone around Shepard’s outline like it hadn’t before. Garrus couldn’t wrap his head around how Shepard managed to stand like the vigorous soldier and leader he was, all while looking his most vulnerable at the same time. His muscles unintentionally flexed from his...undershirt? The most casual he ever saw Shepard was in a t-shirt, but that had only been a handful of times. The blackish, purple bruise enveloping the circumference of his shoulder looked like it didn’t have plans to heal any time soon. And, were those new sweatpants? All of those thoughts flooded Garrus’ mind before he noticed that Shepard’s fists were clenched tight as his eyes started to water.

“How much time do you have?” Shepard asked. He tried to force a laugh, but his voice shook. He saw Garrus give him a look as if to say, “go on.” “I’ve been thinking about a lot of things. It’s kind of hard to escape the amount of thoughts I have nowadays.”

“I know how you feel,” agreed Garrus.

“And I’ve really been struggling with…” Shepard continued, “...coping.” If Garrus had eyebrows, he was raising them. “I’ve never felt so much regret in my life.” Shepard’s fists clenched again, tighter this time. “I watched as Thane took his last breath. He told me he didn’t want to die in a hospital, yet, there he was. Kolyat asked me to pray with him. I didn’t understand what either of them were saying or what I was reading, but it didn’t matter. As I saw Thane close his eyes, I was confused. I thought he had already asked for forgiveness a long time ago. But Kolyat told me that...the prayer was...for me.” He brought his shaking hands up to his face. “Why me? I don’t know anything about drell religion, but it still feels wrong. What did I do to deserve such a gesture? I could have done more. He could still be here.”

Garrus was shocked. Shepard had never been open about anything this personal before. “You need to give yourself some credit, Shepard. You gave him a sense of purpose. If it wasn’t for you, he would have never rekindled his relationship with his son. He died a hero.”

“And Thessia! Did you hear the screaming? Liara hasn’t said a single word since -”

“Stop it, Shepard. You’ve done more good for this war than anyone could have in multiple lifetimes, but you need to accept the fact that you can’t save everyone. You’re only one man.” 

Shepard thought for a moment. He had stayed up countless nights thinking about the lives he could have saved, but the more he thought, the more he realized how unpreventable a lot of those losses were. He didn’t want to admit it to himself though, he wanted to save as many people as possible. No one deserved what they got. But, Garrus’ words did put him at ease. He sucked in his tears and let out a huge sigh. “Yeah, I guess.”

The two of them stared at each other from across the room for a while. Awkward silence filled the space, neither of them knowing what to say next. 

“What about you?” asked Shepard. “Do you have any regrets?” He quite literally smacked his forehead when he saw Garrus turn back to the floor. Stupid! Of course he had regrets! He had talked to him about how horrible he felt during the whole Sidonis situation. They went out of their way to make sure he felt a sense of closure, to pay tribute to his fallen teammates. The pain churned inside him for so long, he had never vented to Shepard before or after that. 

“It’s okay,” Garrus assured him. He had felt awful about the fury Sidonis made him feel inside. He hated what it turned him into. He wished he could have done anything to save his team, or avenge them more heroically, at least. He was going to mention how he regretted Archangel, he didn’t favor that part of his past either. But then he thought that if he didn’t become Archangel, he never would have run into Shepard on Omega...after those painful two years. “I guess I’m more afraid of - hm. I don’t want to feel regret in the future.”

Shepard listened to him as he talked. He walked over and sat down in the chair next to him. It was nice; Garrus being open again, even if it wasn’t all that cheerful of a conversation.

“Mordin was always nice to me,” Garrus continued, “and it felt like old times, having him on the ship again. It was funny listening to him ramble on about spirits-knows-what, but now…” he stopped. He opened his omni-tool and stared into the orange lights. “Before he cured the genophage, before he…” he took a deep breath. “He messaged me, “Take care of the Commander.”” He turned to face Shepard. “I intend on doing so. I’ve got your back.”

Shepard put his hand on the back of Garrus’ blue and silver armor. “And I’ve got yours.” They knew they had each other’s backs, but the verbal confirmation was pleasing. They sat in silence again, both looking at the floor.

Shepard turned and looked at Garrus, who’s eyes were blocked by his visor. He took his hand off his armor and slowly placed it onto the back of his neck. He had never touched a turian’s skin before. He rubbed his hand down the length of a set of plates, he was amazed at how leathery and tender they felt, despite their rough-looking appearance. He traced his fingers along all of the outlines he could find as they rose and fell with each breath. He moved his palm lower down his neck, feeling the exterior carapace transition into a softer hide that resembled and felt more like human skin. He thought he felt Garrus settle into his hand, so he softly stroked his thumb against a sensitive spot -

Garrus flinched and stood up in a flash. Shepard slightly cowered in his seat as he felt those blue eyes pierce into his soul through the flashing visor. “Thanks for talking, Shepard,” muttered the turian. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got to do some last minute calibrations before my next shift.” He turned and walked back to his console in the front of the battery. 

Shepard relaxed, laughed to himself, and rolled his eyes at his usual excuse. He did, however, feel bad for overstaying his welcome. He slowly rose from his seat and made the long, awkward trek to the door from the back of the room. All he could think about was the way Garrus’ skin had felt under his hand. It was familiar and completely alien at the same time, but it felt  _ right.  _ He rubbed the surface of his palm with his other hand, relishing in the memory of the turian’s texture. He fought to not take a quick glance at Garrus as he passed him. As he was about to leave the room, he got a message from Joker; “10 minutes.” He turned around.

“Miranda informed me that her father is stirring shit on Horizon. Want to stop him with me? He’s got her sister.”

Garrus didn’t look his way. “Absolutely.” 

Shepard was about to leave when he stopped. “Oh. Thanks for returning my helmet.”

Garrus stopped. “How did you know it was me?”

Shepard had instantly recognized the makings of the scratch. He had noticed an identical mark along the side of Garrus’ own helmet when they were on their way to deal with Sidonis. It was unmistakable that it was from the turian’s talon, but he didn’t want to admit how much he had pieced together. “Er, lucky guess.”

Garrus felt his mandibles flare as he said, “You’re welcome.”

Shepard left. As soon as he heard the door close behind him, he let out a breath that he had held in for the last few minutes. He smiled as he rubbed his hand.

* * * 

As soon as he heard the door close behind him, Garrus let out a breath that he had held in for the last few minutes. He stopped pretending to calibrate and paced around the room. 

He felt uncomfortably open with Shepard, except, it wasn’t really as uncomfortable as he thought. He was dissatisfied with how he handled explaining Sidonis to him almost a year ago, but this time was different. He didn’t feel ashamed of his feelings, he embraced them, and was glad that Shepard seemed to genuinely listen to him. 

He didn’t mean to react so harshly when Shepard touched him, he simply didn’t expect it. He didn’t mind it, however, the smoothness of his human skin, the way he carefully caressed the back of his neck -

He started to get lost in the memory when he snapped himself out of it. He was never one to be emotional, most people knew that. Whenever he started to shed his rock-hard exterior during his time with C-Sec or with the Palaven Military, he’d get punished. Now shouldn’t be any different, he thought, now is not the time to be vulnerable. 

But, Shepard had just been as vulnerable as he had ever seen him, mere moments ago. He admired that about him, and it made him feel a certain warmth inside that the human had chosen to be open with  _ him  _ of all people. 

He reached his hand up to the back of his neck and placed it where Shepard’s had just been. He wished it was still there, but he overreacted. Or did he? They had much bigger things at hand to worry about. He should have been thinking about their priorities and their missions up ahead, but he was distracted. 


	3. Secrets and Shore Leave

Garrus was something he never was on a mission; distracted. It was in his turian and military nature to be laser-focused and alert for every situation he might come across out in the field. Today was different. 

His mind was clouded with the memory of the conversation he had had a couple of hours ago with Shepard. They had both been pretty open with each other, more open with each other than they had ever been before. Not that he didn’t mind it, he had found it comforting to have a mini therapy session with his good friend. It all just felt a tad - unusual.

Then Shepard touched him. His armor first, then his neck. Not in a brothers-in-war type of way, but a calm, affectionate way. He might not have thought much of it if Shepard hadn’t caressed it in such a way, intricately rubbing his thumb down his skin, slowly…

And the looks Shepard gave him on the field; genuine looks of concern and empathy. The way the human looked at him made him feel...lighter. He lagged behind while Shepard and James tore through mechs and fought Miranda’s father. She was in pretty bad shape, but was able to put in a few shots to finally take him down. Shepard put the final bullet in him, and Garrus saw a fury enslave his eyes as he did it. Shepard finally came to his senses when Miranda was reunited with her sister and brought back to her feet. Garrus could see an invisible weight lift off his shoulders.

No one spoke much on the shuttle back to the Normandy. James made a couple primitive comments on how lavish he found the sisters. Garrus forced a laugh, but Shepard just looked out the window and unconsciously tapped his foot over and over. The rest of the trip was silent.

When they returned to the ship, Shepard booked it to the elevator. Garrus slowly made his way to the crew deck, internally criticizing himself for the day’s performance. When he turned the corner, he saw Shepard and Liara hugging. The human stroked the back of the asari’s neck, just as he had done to the turian’s earlier that day. Garrus held back, feeling like a fool for spying on them. 

He couldn’t make out what they were saying, but he noticed that they were both crying. They parted from their hug, and looked ( _ longingly? _ he thought) at each other, their faces close to touching. He wasn’t sure why, but watching them embrace didn’t sit right with him. Neither did the way he touched her neck. He stealthily swirled around the corner and entered the main battery without being noticed, careful not to clunk his armor around. 

He felt himself furiously tapping his leg as he heard the door close behind him. Why did he spend all day thinking about Shepard? What if the mission got out of hand and something drastic happened because he was... _ distracted?  _ He cringed at that word, it felt like a slur to him. And why was he getting so worked up over seeing Shepard and Liara together? They had a history, it should be normal for them to hug. 

But the feeling of Shepard’s hand on his neck refused to leave. It was so gentle and full of care. Maybe he only touched him because he felt bad for him. It couldn’t have been for other reasons, Shepard wouldn’t...he wasn’t like that. At least not to him. He couldn’t believe how much this was affecting him. 

Garrus thought if he busied himself with work, then all of his worries would go away. Everyone’s anxious from everything that’s going on, he thought, don’t think about stupid things like that. He was sure Shepard did it for a fairly normal reason. He didn’t think he’d stress about it if he got in the middle of some calibrations.

* * *

He stressed about it. 

He forced himself to trudge through his work, taking a lot longer for someone of his caliber. When he finally finished the necessary upgrades, he was taken aback when he realized it was two o’clock in the morning. 

Despite working for so long, he didn’t even feel the slightest bit tired. He knew he wasn’t going to be in shape to be a productive crew member in the morning if he didn’t go to bed soon. He was too lazy to take his armor off, so he arranged the chairs in the back of the battery in a way that resembled a recliner. He sat there for a few minutes, waiting to fall asleep, but to no avail.

He remembered he had a personal bottle of some good stuff in the bar. A glass or two (or three) would do the trick, he thought. He made his way to the lounge. 

Just outside the door, he heard the clinking of glasses. Who could possibly be having a drink at two in the morning? he thought to himself. He imagined Tali having trouble with straws again, so when he entered, he was surprised to not find Tali, but -

“GARRUS! My best friend!!”

\- Shepard. 

“Come on, join me! I was just about to share a drink with myself!” Shepard rapidly motioned him over, spilling wine from the glasses in his shaking hands. 

Garrus wasn’t sure what to focus on as he moseyed around the bar; the mess Shepard was making, the fact he was drinking by himself in the middle of the night, or him being  _ shirtless.  _

“What are you doing here by yourself, Shepard?” he asked the Commander. “It’s two in the morning.”

“Oh, just being a lonely drunk! Isn’t that why you’re here?” He certainly wasn’t sober. 

“Just - trouble sleeping,” answered Garrus as he poured himself a glass of Dextro Heat Sink. “I don’t plan on having that much.”

Shepard took in the information and downed both of the messy glasses in his hands. Shuttering, he stared at the table for a second, let out a pathetic laugh, and smacked his forehead. “I- I didn’t even give out a toast!”

Garrus stood there, not really sure when to take a drink. He watched as Shepard fumbled for the bottle of wine he had been pouring for himself. “A, um, toast for what?” 

Shepard held out his arm. “To you;  _ My. Best. Friend. _ ” He took a long, drawn out swig from the bottle, and surprised himself as he caught it from toppling over when he put it back on the table. 

“...To me.” Garrus took a pitiful sip from his glass. He had seen Shepard blitzed before (how he was right now was lame in comparison), but he was always lively and energetic when partying with his crew. This was just...sad. Seeing the Commander sitting there by himself, sloshed in the middle of the night, made him wonder how often he did this.

“I’m glad Miranda’s okay,” Shepard finally said.

“Me too.” 

“I don’t know what I would have done if- OH!” Shepard slammed his hands down on the table. “More good news!” 

The sound of the firm hands against the tabletop snapped Garrus out of his thoughts. “What is it?”

“I got a message from Admiral Hackett earlier. The Normandy needs some MAJOR repairs,” he stretched his arms out the entire length of his wingspan, demonstrating how major, “so we’re getting an ENTIRE MONTH OF SHORE LEAVE!” Shepard playfully clapped his hands together. 

“Wow,” replied Garrus as he took another sip.

“Yeah, wow! And the best part about it is, we don’t have to work! Hackett specifically gave us an order to relax and enjoy ourselves. Best order I’ve ever received during my time with N7.” He took another long swig from the bottle.

“Oh?” Garrus liked the idea of taking a break from the action, but what was he going to do for a whole month? “That’s a lot of time off, maybe I can stick around and help out with the ship-”

“Are you serious?” Shepard stammered, “No way, you’re enjoying shore leave with me!” 

Garrus kind of chuckled. “What do you mean?” 

“You’re my best friend, silly!” Shepard swayed on his stool. “We’ve never gotten to go out and do anything! We’ve been stuck in the middle of this stupid fucking war for years now, I just want to go to the casino, watch some movies, there’s a few restaurants I want to try, and I’d love to do all of those things with you.” He reached his hand out towards Garrus,’ then quickly retracted it, remembering the reaction he got when he touched his neck. “But, don’t worry, it won’t be like - a date or anything.”

Garrus eyed him as he slumped over. He was surprised Shepard just blurted out the idea of a date. The lights in the bar made Shepard’s skin glow...his very toned, well-featured skin. “Well, that’s good then. You can leave the dates for Liara.” He tried to nonchalantly take another sip.

Shepard raised an eyebrow at him. “Why would I go on a date with Liara?”

“Aren’t you two…?”

“HA! HAHAHA!” Shepard drunkenly cackled. “No! I broke up with her ages ago. I thought you knew.” He snickered when Garrus’ mandibles flapped. “Tali’s awful at keeping a secret, especially when she’s a few glasses down like me!” He took another swig.

Garrus wasn’t sure what to say. “I’m sorry for assuming.” He felt a sense of relief wash over him, and he questioned himself (again) as to why he kept getting worked up over Shepard’s relationships and feelings. 

“It’s okay, I don’t blame you,” assured Shepard. “I can only imagine what you must have thought when you saw us hugging earlier.” Garrus’ mandibles flapped again. Shepard leaned in close to him as his lips curled into a smile. “You’re very bad at hiding around corners, Garrus Vakarian.” 

Garrus liked the playful tone he said that in. “I didn’t want to intrude,” he said, defending himself in the same tone. “If you don’t mind me asking though, what were you two talking about?”

“Nu huh!” Shepard waved his finger in front of his face. “I’m not like Tali, you’re not getting anything from me.”   


Garrus got an idea. He ushered the wine bottle closer to Shepard’s hand. “Your glasses are looking a little empty,” he said. 

Shepard looked at the bottle, then back to Garrus as a sinister grin spread across his face. A low chuckle growled in his throat. “I see what you’re doing, Garrus,” Shepard slurred, “but, maybe, if you get me drunk enough, I might just let my secrets  _ slip. _ ” He waterfalled the pink wine into his mouth. 

Garrus flashed the same devilish grin and finished his drink. He heard a loud crash and realized Shepard had fallen off his stool and onto the floor, the bottle shattered around him. He rushed over to the crumpled man on the floor.

“Shepard, are you okay??”

Shepard clutched the ugly bruise on his shoulder. “Managed to not cut myself, which is good,” he laughed out. “I think it’s time for me to go to bed.” 

Shepard poorly got himself up from off the ground, took a baby step and a half, and tumbled back down.

“Maybe...I’ll just stay here tonight,” Shepard groaned with his face smashed into the floor. 

“You can’t sleep on the floor,” said Garrus.

“Better than the stiff-ass couches in here.”

Garrus couldn’t help but agree that the couches in the lounge were not fit for sleeping on. “Then I’ll - carry you to your room.”

“What?”

“Up you go.” Garrus bent down and lifted the shirtless Commander into his long arms. He stood there for a second, amazed at the situation he found himself in, then headed out towards the elevator.

“Wow, my own Prince Charming to the rescue,” said Shepard.

Garrus had heard humans say that name before, but wasn’t sure what it meant. “Well, I am pretty charming.” 

Shepard laughed. “I’ll say.” He shivered at the feeling of Garrus’ cold armor against his bare skin. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Garrus held Shepard out away from his body.

“No, no, it’s okay.” Shepard pulled himself back into the turian and curled up against his chest. 

Garrus felt his heart flutter as Shepard traced his finger around the scratches on his armor. He had admired and looked up to Shepard for years now, not only as his Commander and a soldier, but as a man. And yet there he was, so physically small, cradled in his arms. 

Shepard carefully inched his hand up Garrus’ armor, and rested it on the back of his neck. He felt Garrus tense up, then ease into it. There was still that odd mixture of textures; rough, leather plates, and smooth, sensitive hide.

“I’ve found myself to be a lot more comfortable outside of my armor,” cooed Shepard as he stroked his thumb down Garrus’ neck, “you should try it sometime.”

Garrus, for the first time in a long while, felt comfortable. Feeling this comfortable, however, made him uncomfortable. He had never felt so many emotions in such little time before, and Shepard was making him feel all of the best ones. 

Still trying to keep his hard exterior, he fought the urge to look down at the human in his arms. He tried to pretend like he didn’t notice, but he felt the soft thumb rub that sensitive spot again. He succumbed and darted a look down at Shepard, and froze.

Their eyes locked together, keeping them in an intense gaze. Garrus’ piercing blue eyes met Shepard’s, his as blue as the ocean he had visited as a child. 

Garrus couldn’t help but let his eyes wander over the rest of Shepard. His body was  _ magnificent.  _ He had only seen James and Joker shirtless before in the communal shower, but James was over-bulked and Joker (a lovely friend) was just...Joker. 

Shepard, however, was the perfect medium; a chiseled chest with an intricate set of abs, and a stomach Garrus could only describe as  _ delicious.  _ He felt his eyes snap away when he noticed a sharp ‘V’ shape just above the waistband of his sweatpants. 

Shepard chuckled. “What are you looking at?” he asked softly.

“Oh, nothing,” murmured Garrus. He saw Shepard blush, more than likely due to his obvious lie. “That’s a nasty bruise on your shoulder.”

“This old thing? It feels like I’ve had it for so long, I don’t think it’s going to heal. I’ll manage though, just like you have.” Shepard reached up and caressed the side of Garrus’ face, gently running his hand along the scars a rocket had left him a year ago. 

Garrus felt himself nestle into Shepard’s hand. He couldn’t comprehend how his human body was so built, but so soft at the same time. He looked down at his face again, and traced the edges of his jaw with his eyes. The majority of Shepard’s brown hair stood up naturally, but a decent clump of strands had fallen across his forehead. He wanted to move them out of the way to get a clearer look at his face, but he was afraid of dropping him, so he left them.

“Hey…” said Shepard.

Garrus met his eyes again.

“Is something happening here?”

Garrus’ heart took flight. That question seemed to break the tension between them, all while adding more, somehow. He broke his eye contact and struggled for a response. “I- I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Shepard blushed again, and opened his mouth just enough to bite his bottom lip as the turian’s subvocals oozed into his skin. He heard Garrus’ heart wanting to beat out of his armor.

* * *

After what felt like miles of travelling, they finally made their way up to Shepard’s room. Garrus was excited to see what the Commander’s quarters were like when the door opened up.

It was honestly pretty basic. A large bed rested against the wall in the back of the room, with a pair of couches that looked much more bearable than the ones in the lounge. An assortment of model ships were collected on shelves above his desk, and a giant (empty) fish tank took up the majority of the left wall. 

Garrus carried Shepard over to his bed and set him down on top of the sheets. 

“Mmm, that’s better,” uttered Shepard as he sprawled out and clutched his many pillows. “Thank you for being so nice to me.”

“It was the least I could do, considering your state and all.”

“No, I mean...all the time. I’m not lying when I say you’re my best friend, Garrus.”

“Thanks, Shepard.” He wanted to say more, but couldn’t find the words.

Shepard’s eyes closed lazily, and one of his hands drooped off the side of the bed. Thinking he was asleep, Garrus turned and quietly headed for the exit.

“WAIT!”

Garrus jumped and turned back around. Shepard was sitting straight up in his bed, his deep blue eyes staring at him from across the room.

“Will you stay here with me?” 

Caught off guard, all Garrus could do was shuffle his feet. 

Shepard slowly lowered himself back onto the bed and closed his eyes again. “I like the sound of you breathing…” said Shepard as he formed a smile. He drifted off to sleep in an instant.

Garrus had never felt his heart beat so hard. Shepard had given him a lot to think about the past twenty-four hours. It felt as though a lot of feelings the two of them had been having recently were suddenly coming to a head, and he didn’t know how to handle it. Not only was Shepard a human, but he was also, well...a  _ he.  _

Maybe this was all ridiculous. Shepard  _ was _ pretty drunk, he probably had no idea what he was saying. But the more he thought about it, Shepard had never given him any reason to not trust him, drunk  _ or _ sober. He was also pretty sure that he was sober when he caressed his neck in the battery…

He liked (loved) watching Shepard sleep, but he needed to think some more. As he turned to leave, he looked back, hoping Shepard would wake up and ask him to stay again. When he didn’t, he left.

Back in his room, Garrus finally felt tired enough and slumped onto his bed, not bothering to take off his armor or visor. He stared up at the ceiling and ran him and Shepard’s conversation through his mind countless times. He traced the same scratches that Shepard had traced on his armor. 

The idea of spending time with Shepard on shore leave made him feel anxious and excited. It was true, they had never gotten to do any “normal” activities together. 

He wondered what Shepard had told Liara. What was his secret? Was it about him…? 

Putting on his military stature and mindset again, Garrus thought that he probably only said that because he was drunk and didn’t mean anything by it. Then he literally slapped himself in the face for exhausting himself with so many contradicting thoughts. 

Fuck it, he thought, whatever happens happens. He pulled open his omni-tool and messaged Shepard.

* * *

Shepard woke up at four in the afternoon. With almost twelve hours of sleep and no hangover, he felt great. He wasn’t surprised to not see Garrus in his room, but he smiled as he thought about their conversation from the night before. 

He opened his omni-tool and saw he had two unread messages.

The first was from Joker; “Commander! Get your ass out of bed and enjoy this break with the rest of the crew. You need it! Dinner’s on me, tonight.” 

The second was from...Garrus! It read, “I’m excited to spend shore leave with you, Shepard. Meet me at Purgatory at 10 PM. Dress nice.” 

Shepard zoomed out of bed and hurled himself into the shower. 


	4. Flowers and Females

Shepard jumped up and down in front of the mirror, smacking his chest as he sprayed himself with a manly fragrance. He stretched into a tight pair of black pants and slipped into a glossy pair of dress shoes. Against the idea of wearing a full-out suit (he wanted to be able to move around freely enough on the dancefloor), he put on a black and white Alliance dress shirt that he deemed “casually nice.”

“I feel like James,” he said out loud to his reflection in the mirror as he continued hopping. He had noticed the young soldier pumping himself up like this multiple times, and admitted to himself that it was getting him ready for the night. 

While heavily debating on wearing a tie or not, Shepard got a message on his omni-tool. It read; “Captain Anderson sent you a letter when we docked at the Citadel. I’ve left it for you at my terminal. Enjoy your break! - Samantha Traynor.” Shepard grabbed the black tie off his bed and flew out the bedroom door.

Before exiting the Normandy, he stopped at Traynor’s terminal. He picked up the white envelope and felt there was something besides paper inside. A handwritten letter from Anderson? he thought. 

He opened the envelope and a golden key fell out into his hand. He pulled out the letter and read -

_ "Shepard. Do enjoy this well-earned shore leave. You need it more than anyone else in the entire galaxy. Kahlee and I have agreed that it’s foolish to continue living alone. Why didn’t I listen to you sooner? We’re heading to Earth to enjoy this time away from the seemingly never-ending madness. It will end one day, but why not start a little bit of that living now while we’ve got the chance? I’m leaving you my apartment for the time being. You should remember how to get there. If I’m not around by the time all of this is over, it’s yours. Oh, it’s nice and spacious, but for one man? Why don’t you find someone to share it with, Shepard? Take your own advice, start living too.  _

_ \- David Anderson" _

Shepard clutched the letter and key in his hand as he grinned widely. He did remember where Anderson’s apartment was. He had been there once before for a party, it was a great party house. He’d have to throw one himself before shore leave was over, and he’d have to show it to -

He figured the apartment could wait. Dinner and Purgatory were waiting first. 

As Shepard made his way to the restaurant Joker told him to meet at, he skidded to a halt outside a shop. He stared into the face of a large, eloquent bouquet of blue flowers. He hadn’t the slightest idea what kind of flowers they were, but he had the strongest of urges to buy them. 

A million and a half thoughts raced through his mind: Is Garrus a flower man? Would he appreciate them? The blue matches his face markings, it’s uncanny, but maybe he’d find that weird. He might be allergic, or maybe he’d think I’m trying too hard. He might get turned off by them, I specifically told him that we wouldn’t go on dates. But what are we doing at Purgatory then? This could just be a friend thing, he might not even like me. But he was  _ totally  _ checking me out last night though, right?? Then again, he might not have been, he’s a fucking turian and they don’t have any facial expressions! UGH! 

The salarian shop-owner saw Shepard having an internal fight with himself and approached him. “Is everything alright, sir?” she asked cautiously, “Is there something I can help you find?” 

Shepard, now aware of how insane he looked, only managed to sputter out, “BLUE FLOWERS!” 

* * *

Joker waved his arm in the air so Shepard could see. He raised his eyebrow twice the normal length a human could raise their eyebrow when he saw the Commander cradling a large bouquet of flowers in his arms as he sat down. 

“Are those for me?” asked Joker.

“Oh, shut up,” replied Shepard. Joker snickered and filled Shepard’s glass with wine. “Wow,” Shepard taunted, “I’m surprised you were able to lift that bottle up.”

“I’m surprised I’m not dumping this in your lap right now,” said Joker as he pretended to do so. 

The two men laughed together as their waiter set down a silver platter of entrees down on the table. 

Shepard gawked at the amount of food before them. “Damn, Jeff,” he exclaimed, “you’re really spoiling me here.”

“Not as much as whoever is gonna get those flowers,” said Joker as he motioned towards the bouquet. “Who are they for anyway?” 

Shepard squirmed in his seat. It upset him that he wasn’t brave enough to tell anybody about his feelings yet. “Um, someone who might not even like them, or understand the gesture.” 

Joker leaned back in his seat as he shoved a sushi roll in his mouth. “I’m hurt you’re not being up front with me, Shepard. I’m sure Garrus will love them.” 

Shepard darted a surprised look at him. “How did you know - ?”

“Come on. I’d have to be a fool to not notice the way you look at him strut around the ship, or blind at least.” 

“Er…” 

“It’s been pretty obvious to me. You might as well have worn a sign on your back saying you’re horny for him.” 

Shepard didn’t know what to say, being put on the spot like he was. 

“Granted,” Joker continued, “I’ve known you the longest, so I guess I can read you the best.” He noticed Shepard staring at him. “What?”

“You don’t think it’s...weird?”

“What? That you like Garrus? No, why should I?”

“I don’t know...just that he’s a turian, and a...he.”

“Dude. It’s 2186. You’re allowed to bang whoever you want. I’m in love with a robot for Christ’s sake.” Joker smiled as he rubbed the paperweight ring on his finger that EDI gave him for his birthday. He held out his fist towards Shepard. “You’re my bro. I want you to be happy.”

Shepard smiled and bumped his fist in return. He let out a breath of relief as they both downed their glasses. “I’m still surprised you instantly knew who they were for.”

“Well, I knew they weren’t for Liara. How do you think she’ll take the news?”

“She’s actually the only other person that knows.”

“Oh? How’d that go?”

“I wish it could have been in different circumstances, but I didn’t just break up with her for no reason. I didn’t think it was fair to her that my mind was...somewhere else.” Shepard refilled his glass. “It really couldn’t have gone better. She understood completely, and told me she supports me no matter what. She’s a very special woman.”

“She is indeed.” Joker toasted to her. “She needs to be protected at all costs.”

Shepard nodded to the flowers. “Do you think he’ll like them?”

“How couldn’t he? They match his face paint.”

“I just don’t know how turians react to flowers.”

“I don’t know how turians react to anything. I’ll be surprised if Garrus makes any face different from the one he always has. But, if he doesn’t like them, give them to me so I can give them to EDI.” Joker squinted his eyes at the ludicrous amount of flowers in the bouquet. “On second thought, I’m sure he’ll love them. But he doesn’t need that many.” He reached across, pulled out a handful of flowers and set them beside him. 

* * * 

Garrus sat at a high-class bar on the top floor in Purgatory. The lights from the purple walls splashed over him as red, blue, and green disco lights strobed over the dancefloor. 

He loosened up the collar on his black-and-white undersuit and stretched out on the bar stool. He couldn’t remember the last time he was out of his armor when he wasn’t sleeping. Every minute of the day he was awake, he had his armor on, whether it was on the Normandy, on the Citadel, on Palaven, anywhere. He felt off being outside of his metal, battle-worn shell, but Shepard did have a point. It was a bit freeing. 

He checked his omni-tool. It was 9:45. He started getting nervous. All day, he had been picturing what Shepard was going to look like. He had seen him in extremely done-up suits for meetings with the Council, but figured those weren’t casual enough for the Commander. He remembered a pair of tight, black pants he’d worn around the Normandy a few times and hoped to see him in those. As long as he brought his charming personality and that big Shepard smile, he’d be satisfied. 

He chuckled to himself, thinking how childish it was to think about what Shepard was going to wear. He didn’t care, however, it was time to have fun. He felt his heart start to pound when he imagined Shepard’s hair. He knew he had long, thick brown hair that stood up, but it was always tampered by a helmet, so he never got to see it naturally. He wanted to run his fingers through it the previous night, but he was afraid of dropping Shepard. He remembered carrying him all the way to his room. 

9:50. He started tapping his fingers on the bar. His undersuit came with a pair of black gloves that he wore, as he wasn’t comfortable with having his bare hands out in public just yet. He’d have to blunt down his talons if he didn’t want to cause serious damage to his surroundings. He had let his hands lose control during his time with C-Sec, and he was still working on that aspect of self-betterment. He hoped Shepard didn’t mind -

“Hey, handsome.”

Garrus turned to the unfamiliar voice next to him. It was a female turian with gold and purple face markings. She wore a silvery-white undersuit with streaks of the same purple. 

“Are these for me?” She gestured to a bundle that was on the stool next to his.

“Um…”

She leaned her arm on the bar and got right up close to him. “I’m Sandra. I want to say I’ve seen you around. Garrus, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I knew I recognized that face,” she said with hot breath, “although this side looks like it’s seen better days.” She stroked her white-gloved talon across his facial scars. 

He flinched his face away. “It’s seen a rocket.” 

“Have a drink with me.” she growled seductively as she leaned in closer to him. “I hate seeing you over here by yourself, come and join me on the dancefloor.”

“I’m actually meeting someone here at 10.” 

Sandra looked at her omni-tool. “Well, you must be pretty devoted to someone who’s fifteen minutes late.”

Garrus quickly checked his own omni-tool. It  _ was _ 10:15. How had he been sitting at the bar in his thoughts for an entire half hour? And why wasn’t Shepard there…? “Yeah, I guess I am,” he mustered out. 

“Just the thing I look for in a man.  _ Loyalty. _ ” Sandra lifted her arm up and ran her hand down Garrus’ shoulder. He tensed up under her touch. “Why so hot and bothered?” she whispered in his ear. “I know a place where we can ease your tension…”

* * *

Shepard bustled through the crowds in Purgatory and charged up the stairs to the top floor, careful not to crush the flowers between people. 

Out of breath, he checked his omni-tool. Fuck! It was 10:15?? Joker didn’t shut up about some story of one of his many injuries that Shepard had to sprint all the way from the restaurant to Purgatory when he realized he was going to be late. 

He searched through the open room, gazing around at the large crowds of humans and aliens living it large on the Citadel. Maybe he left, he thought to himself. 

He was ready to slap himself for being late when he spotted him. The unmistakable back of Garrus’ head was sitting at the bar with a drink in his hand. He was just able to make out a black-and-white undersuit, and got excited at the thought of seeing it up close. 

Shepard’s heart started to pound in his chest. What was he going to say? He ran his fingers through his hair, straightening it up on the top of his head. He hid the bouquet of flowers behind his back, anticipating Garrus’ reaction.

He started to make his way towards the bar, holding in his breath for another second with every step he took. Then, he stopped dead in his tracks. 

He felt his heart sink as he saw a female turian run her hand down Garrus’ shoulder. 


	5. Drinking and Dancing

Glued to the floor, Shepard was forced to watch the female turian stroke her hand down Garrus’ back. Despite being halfway across the room, he could still see the hunger in her emerald-green eyes. 

Who is that? Was I completely reading the wrong signals here? Did he only bring me here so I could be his wingman? Well, he certainly seems to be doing just fine without me…

All those thoughts zoomed through his mind when he saw the female turian bring her hand up and place it on the back of Garrus’ neck, the same spot he himself had favored recently. He could feel the flowers trembling against his back in his shaking hands. 

Garrus stretched his leg out and clearly seemed to be fidgeting. Shepard couldn’t tell if this was because he was trying to get away, or because he was reveling in enjoyment…

I’m such an idiot, he thought to himself as he looked down at the floor and started to back away, how could I have possibly thought that he would ever be into -

“Shepard!”

He jerked his head up to see Garrus turned around on his stool facing him, rapidly motioning him over with his hand. The luminescent lights in the club refracted off the dazzling blue visor on his face, revealing the kind of expression one could only recognize as a turian smile. The female turian was frozen next to him, her arms stuck at her side. 

Shepard gracelessly walked forward with two left feet and approached them. It was the farthest ten feet he’d ever traveled. 

Garrus turned his back away from the female turian and the two men stared at each other for a bit. Garrus with that would-be smile, Shepard with a contorted face of happiness, awkwardness, and embarrassment. 

Shepard forgot about the third wheel behind Garrus. “Oh! How rude of me, I’m Morgan Shepard. And you are?” 

The female turian studied the pair in front of her, her eyes darting back between Shepard and Garrus. She nodded to herself. “Leaving.” She took one last look at Garrus before disappearing into the ocean of life on the dance floor.

Garrus leaned forward so that his face was inches apart from Shepard’s. “I thought I was only going to be bothered by  _ you  _ tonight.” 

Shepard felt a rush of heat and nerves surge through his blood when he heard this. Garrus’ gaze had trapped him; he couldn’t move, his face being so close to his. His eyes danced around his face, jumping back and forth from the blinding blue visor, to his other uncovered eye, to the ‘W’ shape of his turian lips. He really wanted to lean forward...but words caught him by surprise.

“I’m sorry. Joker wouldn’t shut up,” he blurted out. 

“That’s okay.” Garrus sensed his intimidation and backed away.

Shepard looked into the crowd, trying to get a glimpse of the female turian again. “Who was that?” he asked. 

“If I’m being honest, I can’t remember. She was like that one forgetful opening act. Hopefully the show gets better, now that the  _ real  _ entertainment is here.” 

Shepard cocked his head at Garrus’ choice of words. He looked down and saw that an almost-empty glass was in his hand. “You started without me??”

Garrus cocked his head back at him. “You were late??”   


Shepard bit his lip and shuffled his feet. “ Touché ,” he mustered with a slight giggle.

Garrus eyed Shepard’s stiff body up and down. “Are you just gonna stand there with your hands glued to your back? Or are you going to come up here and join me?”

Shepard had forgotten that he was still holding the flowers behind his back. These were a bad idea, he thought to himself. He considered just dropping them behind him and hoped that Garrus wouldn’t notice. But then, as if his body was on auto-pilot, he felt his arms stretch out in front of him and present the flowers to Garrus. 

Garrus looked at them with wide eyes, then looked at Shepard’s neurotic face. A light chuckle rumbled in his chest and turned into a hysterical laughing fit. “You brought flowers to a nightclub?” he managed to get out as he held his stomach. 

“Uh...what?”

“Did you expect there to be vases of water just sitting around Purgatory?”

Shepard’s arm lowered as he slowly looked at the floor. “No...I know it’s stupid, but -” he was interrupted by the crinkle of plastic. 

Garrus reached over to the stool behind him. When he turned back, he held out the same insanely large bouquet of blue flowers that Shepard was holding out. 

Shepard’s eyes lit up.  _ This fucker _ , he thought. 

The two men stood (and sat) there, stupidly holding out identical bouquets to each other, smiling. 

* * *

A few drinks down, Shepard could finally start to feel the effects of the alcohol. He was nothing short of a lightweight, but he took pride in himself for being able to keep on going for long periods of time. He looked at the heap of flowers taking up a considerable amount of space on top of the bar table.

“You were right! There’s no vases here! These are gonna die!” he gasped.

“Hm…” pondered Garrus.

“I’ve thought more about flowers in the last four hours than I have in my entire life,” slurred Shepard as he swayed upon his stool.

Garrus, much better at controlling himself while intoxicated, waved for the bartender. 

The bartender; an asari with chiseled-features, made her way over to them. “Another round boys?”

“Actually,” started Garrus, “we were wondering if you had a vase to put these in.” He motioned to the bouquets in front of them. 

The asari bartender lowered her eyebrows at him. “What, do you think this is an IKEA?” 

“You don’t want to have a bunch of dead flowers all over your bar, do you? I’m sure you’ve got a jar, or something.”

Her jaw tightened as she looked around at the bustling customers. “Look, I’m really busy right now -”

Garrus pulled out his omni-tool. “I will literally pay you to empty out a bottle and fill it with water for us.”

The asari rolled her eyes, pulled out a large bottle of whiskey from the bottom shelf behind her, gripped both bouquets in her massive hands, and plunged them stem-first into the brown liquid. She stared at the men’s dumbfounded faces, huffed, and walked away. 

Shepard and Garrus slowly turned to each other, amazed at her audacity, and burst out into drunken laughter. 

“Some tip she’s getting,” said Garrus. “I’m amazed at how these flowers are bluer than her.”

“I actually got them because they’re the same color as you,” Shepard unintentionally admitted. He blushed when Garrus shot a look his way. “Well, your markings I mean.” 

“That’s funny. I got them because they’re the same color as your eyes.”

Shepard didn’t even realize, but they were the same color. He felt warm inside, but playfully raised an eyebrow. “Been studying my eyes, eh Garrus?”

“I’ve been studying more than your eyes, Shepard.” 

The warmth inside him grew. “And...do you like what you see-?” His question was drowned out by Garrus shouting for the bartender to refill their drinks. 

“Sorry, Shepard. I just totally interrupted you. What did you say?”

Shepard shook his head. “Nothing.” 

Garrus saw through his lie. “I’m sorry, forgive me if I seem a little nervous. I’m awful at flirting.”

Shepard’s heart skipped a beat.  _ Flirting?  _ he thought, now we’re getting somewhere. “Huh, I see,” he leaned forward as his lips curled into a smile, “I guess that other turian didn’t stand a chance, did she?” 

“No. She didn’t,” replied Garrus. “Mostly because I hate it when people touch me out of nowhere, unprovoked.”

Shepard sank like a stone when he realized that he had grabbed Garrus’ hand when he leaned forward. “Uh - um, I’m sorry,” he spat out. His mind raced back to the two times he put his hand on Garrus’ neck. Stupid, he thought, no wonder he stood up so fast the first time, and he couldn’t do anything the second time because he wasn’t going to drop me! 

Garrus shot out his other hand and gripped Shepard’s before he could take it away. “Relax, Shepard,”  Garrus assured, “I meant total strangers. Besides, I don’t mind being touched by people I  _ want  _ to be touched by…”

Shepard felt his hand start to sweat between Garrus’ skin-tight gloves as Garrus gently ran a talon over his skin. He tried biting his lip to keep himself from grinning like a fool. 

Suddenly, the music in the club started bumping louder, and everyone began to head towards the center of the dancefloor in droves. 

Garrus stood up, still holding onto Shepard’s hand. “Come on,” he said, “let’s get rid of these nerves together.” 

The next thing Shepard knew, Garrus was dragging him off his stool and leading him into the crowd of people. They maneuvered through a bunch of other humans, turians, and a handful of asari, krogans, and salarians. 

Shepard was considered tall, being six foot four. But standing next to Garrus, he felt unusually short. At a whopping seven feet, Garrus practically towered over him. Sure, he was really only a head shorter than him, but Shepard couldn’t help but feel intimidated and excited at the same time. 

Seeing Garrus at his full height, Shepard was able to take him in outside of his armor. He discovered just how much bigger and bulkier turian armor made them look. He was big and small at the same time. 

Garrus’ body closely resembled the shape of an hourglass. His chest and back were very large and wide, but his torso thinned out to a small waist that spread back out again due to his long legs being in a naturally wide stance. His black-and-white undersuit was tight against his carapace, leaving some individual lines and grooves on his body visible through the fabric. 

Garrus must have really been feeling the music, because he started dancing. His long arms twirled around in the air as his legs turned him around in glorious circles. 

Shepard watched him move rather gracefully across the floor, slipping in and out of people dancing in place. I never would have guessed that he was such a great dancer,  _ I wonder what else he’s great at... _ he thought to himself as he stared at the turian’s hips rock back and forth. 

His foot started to tap on the ground. The music was pretty catchy. Slowly but surely, he got out of his stiff funk and did what other people would have guessed to be dancing. He bumped his fists in front of him and shook his legs to the electronic rhythm. 

The two merged in with the energetic crowd for a while, taking in the music and blocking out all of their worries and troubles. Shepard agreed, letting loose was a really effective way to get rid of nerves. He felt more alive than ever. 

As Shepard was taking note of the great time he was having, he bumped into Garrus. He crossed his eyes and said, “Didn’t see you there.”

“Ew, don’t ever do that with your eyes again,” said Garrus. 

They laughed and continued dancing. Shepard thought he could have kept going for hours.

* * *

Shepard made his way back to the bar and ordered two shots of vodka. 

“Your flowers are looking a little droopy,” the asari bartender said as she put down the drinks. 

Shepard frowned at her. “What’s got you all worked up tonight?” 

He noticed her fidget with a silver ring on her finger as she shook her head. He slid over one of his full shot glasses to her. 

She mustered a smile “...Thanks,” she said. They took their shots together. 

“I’ll take the turian equivalent of that please!” yelled Garrus as he emerged from the crowd. The asari handed him a shot of an orange drink when he approached the bar. He swung his arm around Shepard as he downed the mini-glass. “I was looking for you.” 

“I needed a recharge,” Shepard said as he held up his shot glass and shook it. “Didn’t think you lost me now, did you?”

“Well, maybe a little,” he chuckled.

Shepard lost himself in the turian’s half-embrace, feeling Garrus’ arm resting on his shoulders. He zoned out for a bit, before shooting his head up at the recognizable song playing. 

“Oh shit! I love this song!” Shepard ducked under Garrus’ arm and rushed out into the middle of the dancefloor, ready to get his groove on again. At that very moment, the song ended.

The music transitioned into a very different tune. A bit slower and much more mature, the song began with a plucky orchestra. The strings danced to the minimal percussion, castanets clicked along with shaky maracas. 

Sure enough, the people in the crowd broke off into pairs and began to tango, leaving Shepard to stand by himself in the middle of the whirlpool of dancers. 

Shepard turned and saw Garrus, with his back to him, stand up at the bar. When Shepard thought he couldn't be surprised by him anymore, Garrus stealthily  _ moonwalked  _ from the bar, through the waves of dancing couples, and right to Shepard’s feet. 

With a swift motion, Garrus turned around on his heels. He had one of the blue flowers in his mouth, clamping down on the stem between his jaws. He held out one of his hands. 

“Dance with me, Shepard.” His voice sounded quite eloquent with a flower in his teeth. 

Astounded, Shepard grabbed his hand. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Just follow my lead.”

“I’m also really drunk-”

“You’ll get the hang of it.” Garrus led Shepard around the floor, guiding his legs and feet with his own. 

Shepard couldn’t help but stumble around at first, frantically trying to mimic Garrus’ fluid movements. He felt himself start to trip, but Garrus held a firm grip on both of his hands. 

“I’ve got you,” said Garrus soothingly. 

Shepard felt incredibly red. He was absorbed with embarrassment, but was also charmed by how much of a gentleman Garrus was being to him. 

Soon enough, he started getting the hang of it. His concentration on the music broke through his drunkenness, and he was slowly becoming a natural. 

Shepard and Garrus fought over who was taking the lead, the pair of them twirling each other around and stretching out their arms in the directions they wanted to head in. Their feet seamlessly avoided each other, and their fingers didn’t dare let go of the other’s. 

The music was building to its climax. Cocky and eager to show off his quick learning skills, Shepard attempted to throw Garrus off by performing a sharp turn. 

Garrus must have seen it coming, however, because the next thing he knew, Garrus shot out his leg under him. In a flash, Garrus caught Shepard’s leg with his leg spur, wrapped his arm around his back, and yanked him into his chest. Shepard grabbed onto Garrus’ arm with his free hand to support himself, despite being clearly trapped. Garrus leaned his head forward so that it was an inch away from Shepard’s.

“ _ I don’t think so _ ,” the turian seductively growled. 

Shepard had never experienced anything so riveting that fast before. In a last-second attempt of retaliation, he lunged his face forward and nabbed the flower out of Garrus’ mouth with his teeth. He laughed menacingly as Garrus squinted his eyes at him. He licked the whiskey off the dark-green stem, relishing in the stinging sensation it made in the back of his throat. 

The song simmered to an end and the entire top floor of Purgatory was quiet. A few claps broke through the silence, then eventually grew into a roaring applause. 

Still stuck in their final position, Garrus and Shepard jerked their heads around. The entire dance floor was empty except for the two of them. Everyone else had broken apart, formed a large circle around them, and watched them dance. 

The flower dropped out of Shepard’s mouth as they hurriedly tried to untangle themselves. The whole ordeal was not nearly as sexy as their dance. 

“ _ Keelah _ ,” a familiar voice said. “That was amazing.”

Shepard and Garrus looked over. “TALIIIIIII!” they jointly exclaimed.

Tali was standing at the top of the steps, her suit almost blending into the deep purple lights. The two ran over to her and lifted her up off the ground in consecutive hugs. 

“When I thought my night couldn’t get any better,” said Shepard. 

“I  _ am  _ the life of the party,” Tali wheezed as Shepard squeezed the air out of her in his hug. 

“Don’t tell me you’re here by yourself,” said Garrus.

“Of course not,” she said as Shepard finally put her back on the ground.

“ _ I’m _ with her!” roared another familiar voice from the steps.

Wrex! The giant red krogan bumbled up the stairs looking rather proud of himself. He, too, was also in a black-and-white undersuit. 

“Wrex! What a surprise!” said Shepard. 

“Yes, I have taken the liberty of being Miss vas Normandy’s bodyguard for the evening.” He stood alert when he finally reached the top of the stairs. 

“So formal,” Tali giggled as she hugged him. “I always knew you were a big softy.”

Wrex chuckled as he placed one of his large hands on her tiny, slender back to return the hug. “I’m not letting anyone mess with my little sister while she’s on vacation.” 

“So does that mean you’re not gonna drink with us, Wrex?” asked Garrus.

“Are you kidding? Alcohol makes me more aggressive, all the better for people to stay away!”

“Sounds good to me,” said Shepard.

“Alright, I’m ready to partyyy! Where are the drinks?” yelled Tali. It was clear she had already had a few. 

“I’ll get them!” hummed Garrus as he strode over to the bar. 

Tali stood on her tiptoes to whisper in Shepard’s ear. “You two are so adorable.” She bumped her helmet against his cheek and followed Garrus. Shepard blushed. 

He was about to follow her, when Wrex stopped him.

“Shepard. I wanted to tell you something.”

“Okay, what is it?”

“I just wanted to let you know that I don’t think it’s weird. Tali told me about you and Garrus.”

“Oh? What is there to tell? Nothing’s really happened yet…”

“Come on, you’re Commander Shepard!” Wrex slapped his back. “You’ll be mating before you know it.”

“Um...thanks, Wrex.” 

“Although, I never would have expected it. Garrus always seemed like the solo type. And you always seemed like a ladies man. Especially when we recruited Liara, you couldn’t stop drooling over her.”

“Um-”

“Still, Garrus? Never would have guessed. Last time you were on Tuchanka, I told you about a few of my cousins that were looking for a big strong man like you. They would have been more than happy to have had a word with you. We could have been in-laws! Still, I don’t think it’s weird-”

Shepard pretended to listen to Wrex ramble on. Nodding occasionally, he turned to see Garrus and Tali at the bar. They both looked back at him and Tali said something that made Garrus lightly punch her in the shoulder. Tali’s body shook up and down from giggling and returned with a harder punch.

Shepard wondered what they were saying, fixed on the idea that it was about him. He was kind of jealous of their friendship, especially because of the many times they spread gossip between themselves.

He wanted to know if Garrus felt the same way he did about him. There were a lot of signs to suggest that he did; getting him flowers, telling him he studied him, leading him onto the dancefloor, wrapping his arm around his shoulder, the way he held him after their dance…

Shepard thought that maybe all of that was because Garrus was drunk. But he couldn’t deny it, there was some sort of magic there. Garrus typically was a silent brooder and was never a fan of being that expressional with his emotions. But, if he had to work to get Garrus out of his comfort zone, that was work he was willing to put in.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Wrex started to explicitly describe human-krogan mating rituals. 

* * *

Around two in the morning, Shepard and Garrus were starting to get tired. Wrex had carried Tali away at this point. 

“Oh! Hey. Captain Anderson left me his apartment. You should come check it out with me,” said Shepard sleepily. 

“Alright,” agreed Garrus. 

They stumbled through the Citadel, dreading the hangovers they’d feel the next day. Garrus wrapped his arm around Shepard’s shoulder, holding him close for support. Shepard wrapped his arm around Garrus’ lower back, smiling at their close proximity. 

They laughed as they drunkenly talked about bullshit. 

After around fifteen minutes of stumbling, they finally made it to Anderson’s, now Shepard’s, apartment. The front door was taller than three Garrus’. 

They let go of each other so Shepard could pull his key out of his pocket. Shepard’s crumpled up tie was also in his pocket, and it fell out onto the floor when he took out the key. Garrus bent down, picked it up, and tied it around his head. 

Weak from laughter and no longer supporting each other, they lost their balance. Garrus fell into the wall, his back catching it. Shepard fell forward and caught himself against Garrus, his hands pressed against his chest. 

They fell silent with their bodies up against each other.

Shepard slowly stood up onto his tiptoes so that his face was level with Garrus’. He ran his fingers up Garrus’ chest and wrapped his arms around his neck. Garrus wrapped his arms around Shepard’s back, pulling him in closer.

They gazed into each other’s blue eyes, the only light in the dark alley coming from Garrus’ visor. The only noise came from each other’s deep, heavy breaths. 

Inching forward at a snail’s pace, their heads leaned in. They came so close that a piece of paper could barely fit between them. They slowly turned their heads, closed their eyes and pursed their lips to k-

BEEP BEEP. 

They jerked apart at the sudden noise, unwrapping their arms from each other. 

A yellow light blinked on Garrus’ omni-tool. He lifted his arm up to view the message. 

“Um…” said Garrus, “I forgot I was going to stay at a hotel tonight. They’re pissed I haven’t checked in yet.”

“Oh…” said Shepard. “Can you cancel it? You can stay here tonight if you want.”

Garrus shook his head. “I already paid for it and they specifically said no refunds. High demand this weekend, it seems. They’re going to charge me for a late fee if I don’t show up in twenty minutes. It’ll probably take me eighteen to get there…”

They stood in silence again, this time with the mood drastically different.

“Okay...well, goodnight then,” said Shepard.

“Yeah...goodnight,” said Garrus. He didn’t look at Shepard, who said nothing back. 

Garrus started walking away, then turned around and looked at Shepard. 

“I had a good time tonight,” he said. 

“Me too,” said Shepard. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Garrus turned around again and started walking away. 

Shepard cracked a tiny smile. “I better get that tie back,” he called after him.

“You will,” chirped Garrus with the tie still wrapped around his head. He turned the corner out of sight.

Shepard stood outside the apartment for a few moments, feeling empty in the silence. He thought about the night he just had, and couldn’t help but feel warm.  _ Tomorrow _ , he thought. He unlocked the door and entered the huge apartment...alone. 


	6. Hangovers and Satisfaction

“WHY WON’T ANYONE HELP US? PLEASE, SOMEONE!”

“ _ AHHHHH! _ ”

Shepard’s screaming woke him with a start and he lunged up in his bed. He had heard the asari Lieutenant again…

An utterly cruel pain forced Shepard back, as if he had smacked an invisible wall as he lunged forward. His trembling fingers gripped the sides of his groggy head. He could feel his temples throbbing beneath them, feeling as if they were about to burst from the blood pumping so ferociously.

_ A fucking hangover.  _

Shepard sat up in his bed for fifteen minutes, massaging his aching head and attempting to find a steady rhythm for his panicked breaths. His terrifying dream felt all too real...probably because he had lived it not too long ago. 

Realizing his throat felt as dry as sandpaper, he finally convinced himself to get out of bed, stepping over his crumpled outfit from the previous night on the floor. He squinted his crusty eyes as he faced the window, the blinding orange sun pouring through the thick blinds. He didn’t bother checking the time. 

As he limped to the bathroom, he looked at the mess that was his bed. Multiple thin gray sheets were strewn about and tangled, four thick pillows were aligned in disarray, and an ugly outline of Shepard’s body was imprinted on the cushion in his sweat. It was a horrifying dream…

Shepard heard and felt his body pop and crack as he stretched in front of the bathroom mirror. His plain white t-shirt was covered in drool, his thick brown hair was matted all over his face with loose ends sticking out, and his red boxer shorts were twisted halfway in the opposite direction. 

He pulled down the collar on his shirt to reveal his right shoulder. The brutally purple bruise that encompassed it had grown a thin greenish-yellow rim around it; the beginning of the healing process. 

Eyes still crusty, he fumbled around the granite sink countertop for a glass. He poured out the N7 toothbrush (he thought N7 could be spending money on other things) from it and filled it entirely with sink water. He gulped down every last drop in one swig, thinking that nothing could have tasted better in that moment. He shivered at its iciness, which made his head throb again. 

He rummaged through the drawers under the counter and groaned at the lack of painkillers. He made a note to get some on his omni-tool. 

He sat on the edge of the pearly-white bathtub, pulling his shirt up to lean against the back of the chilly glass shower wall. He always liked having his tubs and showers separate. Anderson has good taste, he thought. 

* * *

After feeling like a normal person again, Shepard got up and wandered around his temporary apartment. He had been so drunk, tired, and  _ empty  _ the previous night, that he didn’t spend any time checking out the place. He had fumbled around in the dark as he tried to find the bedroom upstairs. 

The bedroom was quite spacious. The bed itself was even larger than the one in Shepard’s quarters on the Normandy, which he already thought was considerably large. A gorgeous flat-screen TV was perched on the wall above a set of chestnut drawers for clothes. 

He slowly traveled down the wooden spiral staircase, holding onto the twisting metal railing for support. He counted fifty steps in between the second and first floor. 

The entire West wall was taken up by a thick pane of glass for a window with opened black blinds, leaving the sun to generously flood its light into the apartment. Multiple Citadel buildings stood erect in the distance as countless X3M’s and other shuttles flew by, all far enough away to ensure a decent sense of privacy. 

The living room was split into two sides, each with their own sets of couches, loveseats, and flat-screen TV’s. Dividing each side was a roaring fireplace with a control panel next to it. One side had a well-stocked bar, the other a large, elegant, sleek grand piano. He ran his fingers down all fifty-two white keys and smiled as the notes echoed throughout the place. 

He toured the rest of the apartment, amazed at the fruitfulness of the kitchen, surprised at the interest the library peaked in him, feeling competitive at the sight of the game room, and hungry to use the downstairs bathroom, which had a  _ Jacuzzi  _ when you turned the corner.

“That’ll get used,” he said to himself out loud. 

Not expecting to hear a loud noise, Shepard leaped out of his skin when he heard the doorbell ring. He felt ashamed for being so jumpy, but his head still hurt and he hadn’t quite recovered from his dream yet…

He scuttled to the front door. He remembered that the large panel next to the door was attached to a security camera pointing down to whoever was outside, but he couldn’t figure out how to work it. When the doorbell rang again, he quickly straightened his hair, hid the lower half of his body behind the door (he forgot how almost naked he was), and opened it. 

“Morning, Shepard.”

_ Garrus.  _

Shepard let out a long sigh of relief he didn’t realize he was holding in and led the turian inside, no longer afraid of his lack of clothing. 

Garrus, with Shepard’s black tie still wrapped around his head, took in the wonders of the apartment. “Wow,” he said, “I should have said “screw you” to that hotel last night. This place is great.”

Shepard gave a prolonged look of contemplation at the floor. He had really wished that Garrus would have stayed the night, and had trouble falling asleep after being left alone in the middle of the night. But, he couldn’t help but give a light smile at the sight of his tie dangling off the side of the turian’s head. 

“Well, you’re here now,” said Shepard, trying to hide his disappointment. 

Garrus noticed the distance in his tone of voice. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, just...had a bad dream.” Shepard’s thumb unnervingly spasmed as he tried blocking out the Lieutenant’s screams again. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“M- maybe later. How’s your hangover?”

“Exceptional,” said Garrus matter-of-factly, rolling his eyes, “yours?”

“Heh. Spectacular.” Shepard clutched his head.

“Good. That’s why I brought these.” Garrus held up the two plastic bags he was carrying. “Out of the few useful things my father taught me, homemade hangover cures were one of them.”

Shepard smiled as he watched Garrus make his way to the kitchen as if he owned the place. He felt goosebumps run up and down his bare legs, then noticed he was standing in front of an air vent. 

“I’ll be right back. Let me get dressed,” he said.

“Sounds good, I’ll get started on these.”

* * *

A few minutes later, Shepard came back into the kitchen wearing gray fit sweatpants and a black, baggy, N7 hooded sweatshirt. He perched himself up on a stool at the kitchen counter and watched Garrus pour orange fizzy drinks into a boiling pot of water. 

“You look comfortable,” said Garrus.

“Definitely beats armor,” said Shepard. He looked at Garrus’ outfit. It was another undersuit, but much more casual. Like his armor, it was blue and black with streaks of silver, and slightly resembled a tunic sort of garment. “How’s life outside yours?”

Garrus chuckled. “I think it’ll take some getting used to, but I’ve gotta admit, Shepard,” he said as he dropped some seltzer tablets into the boiling water, “it does feel a bit relieving  _ not _ having all that weight on my back 24/7.” 

They listened to the tablets sizzle as they reminisced on being free of the constant, clanging metal suits of armor they wore everyday. 

A handful of moments later, Garrus found the cabinet with the glasses in it and poured the pot into two, handing one to Shepard. 

“Cheers.” He clinked the Commander’s glass.

“Isn’t it going to be hot??” asked Shepard.

“Of course it is, I just boiled it. But unless you’d like a raging headache for the rest of the day, I’d only wait a few more moments.” He downed his glass and clenched his hands. He let out a boisterous sigh and said, “Much better.”

Shepard, looking down at his drink, felt the warmth on his palm through the glass. “Are you sure this is safe for me to drink?”

Garrus glared at him. “Shepard. Do I look like the type to intentionally poison silly humans?” He winked his eye that wasn’t covered by his shiny blue visor. 

“Why are you still wearing that?”

“My visor? Just in case something happens, or I’m needed.” 

Shepard scoffed. “Now is not the time to be worrying about anything. We’re on shore leave, you should take it off-”

Garrus interrupted him by tapping his talon on his empty glass. He wasn’t wearing gloves this time.

Shepard gazed upon his hands, thinking that this was probably the first time he had seen a bare turian hand. Garrus’ hands were brown and gray with spots, lines and grooves making up a complicated map of textures, like his neck. 

His sleek, black talons reflected in the sunlight. They looked blunted down, but there was no denying how sharp they still were. With one swift motion, they could do serious damage, but Shepard was fascinated by all of it, including the hand’s triadic design. 

He thought about what it would feel like to  _ hold  _ them. He had never held hands with someone who had three fingers before. Would they feel like his neck, soft and rough at the same time? Would they-

“ _ Ahem. _ ” 

Shepard snapped out of his daydream and looked up at Garrus, who was smirking at him.

He gulped and downed his hangover cure, clenching his hands as the heat traveled from his tongue, to the roof of his mouth, to the back of his throat. 

“Well?” asked Garrus, “How do you feel?”

Shepard was about to complain about how hot that drink was, but was astounded at how quickly his head cleared of pain. “Much better,” he said. 

Garrus started packing the plastic bags up again and said, “I’ll leave these here for next time.”

Shepard got up and put the glasses in the sink. An uncomfortable rush shook his body, and he winced at the thought of his dream again. He was annoyed at how much this was bothering him, he just wanted to forget about it and have a good time. He didn’t want to seem weak in front of Garrus. 

“Hey.” Garrus gently put a hand on Shepard’s shoulder. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Shepard met the turian’s concerned look. He felt his heart flutter when he saw that his tie was  _ still  _ wrapped around Garrus’ head. 

Feeling ready to break down, he shot his arms out and wrapped them around Garrus. He grabbed as much of his undersuit as he could in his hands and held on tight, reddening his knuckles. He buried his face into Garrus’ chest and composed himself, feeling at ease against his warm body. 

“I’m just...really happy that you’re here.”

Garrus, shocked at how instantly Shepard latched onto him, stood there for a moment. He could feel the human’s staggered breaths against his chest and fingers digging into the back of his suit. But, he felt his own heart start to flutter. He looked down at the sea of brown hair, took the tie off his head, and embraced the man back. 

“I am too, Shepard.”

Shepard rested into Garrus’ long arms wrapped around him, feeling completely  _ safe _ . 

* * *

Garrus stared into the roaring fireplace in the living room. His legs stretched out onto the oak coffee table, he felt Shepard kick him. He had done it unintentionally for the third time. Shepard was fast asleep next to Garrus on the couch, and he kept twitching in his sleep, sometimes muttering indistinguishable words. 

Garrus felt bad. All day, Shepard had looked as if something was constantly bothering him. 

He thought that he was probably upset that he had just left him alone in the middle of the night, all because he had forgotten that he had rented a night in a nearby hotel. He wouldn’t have blamed him. He felt regretful the second he left, but he was somehow unable to turn back around. 

He felt the most comfortable he had felt in a long time; drunk against the wall with Shepard in his arms. But the moment was forever ruined because of his ignorance. 

He looked over at Shepard, who looked much more peaceful now. His great brown hair was wavy on the top of his head. Garrus fought the familiar urge to run his fingers through it. 

Shepard’s mouth was curved in a slight smile, his head cocked in a way that showed off his meticulous jawline. 

Garrus felt his mandibles flare. He enjoyed watching the Commander sleep, twitches and all. Shepard unconsciously stretched his leg out, leaving his bare foot to rest against Garrus’ thigh. 

Garrus fought another urge inside him to rub his hand over Shepard’s leg, so as to not wake him up. He ran his eyes over his leg instead, tracing it up and down. He liked how long Shepard’s human legs were, despite enjoying how small he considered him next to him. 

_ Shepard looks good in gray _ , he thought, as his eyes moved further up his body. He stopped around his waist. He felt his eyes shift and focus. Through the sweatpants, he saw the outline of something  _ long _ -

He instantly looked away and back into the fireplace, his mandibles flaring again. He could feel the beating of his heart crescendo. 

A thousand thoughts sped through his mind. A while ago, he would have heavily questioned the emotions he was feeling. Commander Shepard, a human? A male? The thought would have never crossed his mind, he wasn’t raised that way. He was also his good friend, and he wouldn’t want to tarnish whatever camaraderie was already there.

But now, he didn’t care. He accepted it. He felt...at peace with himself. 

He felt - another kick to the ribs. 

Shepard awoke with a start next to him, panting. 

“I’m sorry,” said Shepard through staggered breaths, holding his head. 

“It’s okay,” assured Garrus, who didn’t feel any pain from the kick. “Another bad dream?”

“Yeah,” yawned Shepard as he rubbed his eyes. “I can’t seem to escape it.” 

“Do you want to talk about it now?”

“I guess it isn’t really that big of a deal...Thessia…”

Garrus frowned. “Of course it’s a big deal, Shepard.”

“People keep telling me it’s just war.  _ You  _ told me it’s just war. I need to stop blaming myself, but I can’t. And it’s stupid-!”

“It is anything  _ but  _ stupid, Shepard. You can’t blame yourself for what you feel. Your feelings are just as valid as everyone else’s, if not more so. No one else in the entire galaxy has gone through what you have.”

Shepard hung his head in his hands. He tried to respond, but stopped himself with another set of heavy breaths. 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you, Garrus,” he eventually managed to get out. “You’re very special.”

Garrus mildly sunk in his seat. “Oh, you’re just being modest.”

“No I’m not.”

“I’m not that special.”

“Yes you are. Hey! Look at me.”

Garrus didn’t know why, but he had suddenly turned away from Shepard, feeling embarrassed for some reason. 

“You are my best friend,” said Shepard, “and you are  _ very _ special.”

Not that titles necessarily mattered, but Garrus was the best at a lot of things. But Shepard calling him his  _ best friend _ ...felt nice. He had said it to him multiple times a few nights ago, but he wasn’t sure if that was the drunk part of Shepard talking or not. It still felt good nonetheless, but it felt even better now. 

“Garrus, I want you to look at me.”

He ever-so-slightly turned his face to face Shepard, just barely looking at him out of the corner of his visor-covered eye. 

Shepard was twitching again with an anxious look on his face. “ _ Look at me. _ ”

“I am!”

“No…”

Before he could do anything, Shepard moved over to him on the couch, got on his knees and straddled himself over Garrus’ legs. He put both hands on his shoulders and rested into his lap. 

Garrus was taken aback by his sudden initiative, but was trapped in Shepard’s gaze. The two men stared at each other for a minute, the blue visor flickering in Shepard’s eye. 

Shepard ran his hands up Garrus’ neck, and carefully unhooked the visor off of his face. Shepard shuddered and relaxed as he stared into both of Garrus’ naked eyes for the first time. He could feel his crystal blue eyes pierce into his soul.

For the first time in what felt like ages, half of Garrus’ vision wasn’t blurred by unnecessary distractions. He peered into both of Shepard’s big, deep, ocean-blue eyes, pleasantly bewildered at the wonders they held. 

“...That’s better,” said Shepard as he forced a smile. He couldn’t stop trembling. 

Garrus, again, was amazed at how vulnerable Shepard was. The first human Spectre, the leader of the galaxy, the strongest and bravest man he had ever known, was as small as could be, shivering in his lap. He felt warm inside, knowing Shepard trusted him enough to feel safe with him. He felt safe too. 

He slowly brought his arms up and curled them around Shepard’s body, bringing him in closer to his own. They never broke eye contact. 

Shepard brought his hands up and caressed Garrus’ neck, stroking his thumb down all of the places he had recently discovered. 

Slowly but surely, they began to lean their heads forward. The closer they got, the more relaxed Shepard became. 

Garrus started rubbing Shepard’s back, swirling his hands in large circles in order to comfort him, but never breaking their embrace.

Shepard moved his palms upward, making sure to feel every inch of the turian’s skin. Constantly amazed at the roughness  _ and  _ softness, his hands finally found themselves resting on each side of Garrus’ face. He brushed his thumbs along his mandibles, tracing them. He was extra careful around the scars on his right side. 

The only time they broke eye contact was to study each other’s faces, which kept getting closer. 

Garrus melted into Shepard’s hold, astonished at how soft and gentle his firm, strong hands were. 

The crackling fire was warm against Shepard’s back, as was Garrus’ chest against his. He inched his knees forward to get even closer to him. Garrus tightened his embrace.

Shepard moved his hands up and down the side of Garrus’ face, massaging it with his flexing palms. He could hear the low rumbling of subvocal purrs coming from Garrus’ chest, and they really calmed his nerves.

Their faces were just under an inch apart now, and they reinstated their eye contact, blue into blue. 

Their chests pressed up against each other. They could feel their hearts pounding against one another’s, as if they were trying to have a boxing match.

Both men smiled calm, loving smiles.

As if it was natural instinct, Shepard brought his right hand around to the back of Garrus’ head, right as Garrus brought up his left hand and placed it on the back of Shepard's head. 

They put forth the tiniest bit of pressure, and leaned their heads together.

Garrus and Shepard closed their eyes as their lips touched. 

A flurry of feelings filled them, perplexed at the concoction of emotions and the unique textures they felt. 

Garrus, not having “proper” lips, awkwardly tried to match the shape Shepard’s luscious, soft lips formed against his own. 

Shepard, amused at the attempt, gently studied the turian’s skin with his mouth. Imagining it to taste slightly metallic and salty and to feel hard, he was surprised to find that it was quite the opposite. Garrus’ plates were leathery and soft, with a slight hint of roughness. It tasted, well, he wasn’t sure what it tasted like. It just tasted normal, not that he would have cared anyway.

After a glorious, slow, minute-long kiss, they broke apart. 

Garrus could see Shepard’s eyes start to water as he finally stopped trembling. They both smiled at each other, speechless. 

Again, as if it was natural instinct, they leaned in to each other and kissed for the second time. They both closed their eyes and eased into each other’s embrace, letting out relieved sighs. Garrus could feel a single tear run down Shepard’s cheek and onto his face. 

Both expecting the situation to be a total disaster, they were surprised at how natural it came to them. While both pairs of lips were vastly different, they interlocked in such a way that felt  _ just _ right. They made it work. 

They stopped and looked into each other’s eyes again. They let out childish giggles and rubbed their necks, caressing each other.

“Are we crazy?” asked Shepard.

Garrus glared at him, raising the plates that took the place of his eyebrows. “Is that supposed to be a trick question?”

They laughed and brought their foreheads together, gently resting them against one another. 

They basked in the moment against the fire, wanting to stay there forever. Only beams of sunlight could break in between them. 


	7. Cuddling and Kissing

POP!

Shepard jumped. 

It was just the fireplace. Even though it was burning fake logs, it still made realistic sounds as if it wasn’t. The light from the orange flames rippled across his face in his sideways perspective.

He was laying down on the couch again, the opposite way this time. His head was resting in Garrus’ lap, and his hand was stroking the turian’s thigh down to his knee. He ran his palm over the soft material of the undersuit, feeling slight grooves on his skin underneath. 

Glyph; Liara’s Info Drone, had embedded himself into the grand piano, and was playing a gentle, soothing arrangement of chords, filling the apartment with a homey ambience.

When Shepard jumped, Garrus, sitting up on the couch, placed his hand on his arm. It kept him from shaking again. He mimicked Shepard’s movements by stroking his arm, running his hand across the baggy N7 sweatshirt, feeling the toned curves underneath. 

Toasty against the fire, Shepard hummed to himself. He felt so comfortable being that physically close to Garrus. 

A few weeks prior, he had been worrying himself sick, stressing out about whether or not Garrus could possibly  _ like  _ him. Or if he could, for a slight chance, have the same feelings towards him that he had. Yet, there they were, cuddling against each other on the couch. 

Garrus looked down at Shepard and felt warm inside. The Commander’s face was as relaxed as he had ever seen it, and it made him happy that he could help him alleviate his anxiety. 

Shepard felt Garrus run his hand over a sensitive spot on his arm and he naturally flexed his muscle at the touch. Garrus gripped his arm tighter and emitted a deep rumble from his chest.

Shepard smiled to himself and nestled his face against Garrus’ leg some more, swirling his thumb in circles over his intricate kneecap. 

He blushed. He thought about how they had shared their first few kisses just an hour ago. He giggled internally, remembering how they struggled at first, trying to figure out how each other’s lips worked. Initially, Shepard thought he might as well have kissed a wall, but it could have just been nerves from both ends, because soon after, they discovered locations for themselves to interlock together. 

He could tell Garrus was trying his best to purse his lips, so he made sure to position himself to hook his lower lip under Garrus’ upper lip, and vice versa. He didn’t mind putting in the extra effort. 

That was the happiest he had felt in years; kissing Garrus, wrapped in his tight embrace, against the fire, holding their foreheads together (he knew that was how turians most showed their affection). No (momentary) worries about the Reapers, no missions to go on, no battles. Just him and his best friend...though he started to want him as more than just his best friend...

Garrus felt himself (figuratively) turn red when Shepard chuckled after he gripped his flexing arm. Shepard moving his finger around his knee tickled him, so he tried slightly shifting his leg. 

Shepard caught onto this and pushed his head down harder onto his leg to keep it still, and traced his fingers around his knee lighter and faster. He bit his lip as Garrus’ leg started to squirm under his head.

He used his other hand to run his fingers underneath Garrus’ thigh, which made him flex and squirm his leg even more.

_ Hmmm,  _ Garrus thought,  _ I can’t wait to find what makes him tick and see how he likes it...but in the meantime… _

Shepard’s thick brown hair was as free and flowing as he had ever seen it, right there in his lap. Garrus moved his hand from his arm and  _ finally  _ started combing his fingers through his hair. 

He never thought running his fingers through a human’s hair would be so satisfying, but there was something about Shepard that just kept on surprising him. As thick as his hair was, it was incredibly smooth and wavy, making his fingers weave in and out of it with ease. He twirled some silky strands around one finger, while the others carefully scratched along the top of his head. 

Shepard curled up at the tingling sensation of Garrus’ talons on his scalp. He turned over on his back so he could look at him face to face.

“Well, hello,” Garrus said as he locked eyes with Shepard.

“I never thought I’d enjoy cuddling with a turian so much,” said Shepard. He ran his fingers up Garrus’ chest, tracing over the grooves he could feel through his undersuit. “Nor did I think they’d be such good kissers…” he glimpsed at Garrus’ eyes staring longingly at him. 

“Turians don’t kiss, Shepard.” 

“Oh?” Shepard sat up and moved his face closer to Garrus’. “So what was it we were doing earlier?” He bit his lip.

“Well...we  _ were  _ kissing-” Garrus tried to avoid looking at Shepard’s lip, “but that’s just not something we do-”

He was interrupted by Shepard grabbing the back of his head and smooshing his face into his, forcefully locking their lips together. They exchanged a few rough kisses, gasping for air in between. 

“You must be a bad turian then,” said Shepard breathlessly as he rubbed his fingers down Garrus’ neck, “because you’re an  _ amazing  _ kisser.” 

“Well...I’m amazing at a lot of things. But, lucky first try I guess-”

Shepard broke him off again with a tender, loving kiss. “Lucky? You’re a natural.” He gazed into those piercing blue eyes and felt a sense of wonder rush through him. He brought their foreheads together and rested there for a moment.

“I know this is how you turians ‘kiss,’ but-”

“It’s just always something we’ve done.”

“I know, and I-”

“So if I ever stop kissing you and put my fore-”

“Garrus!” Shepard broke their heads apart and looked into his eyes, still holding onto the back of his neck.  “Quit being so defensive.  _ I love it.  _ I think it’s actually really adorable. It wouldn’t be fair to you if we kept kissing all the time and you wanted to show your affection in other ways. It’s fun to see both sides of the world, anyways.”

Garrus rested his cheek against Shepard’s arm.

“Thanks for understanding, Shepard.” 

“Of course, Garrus.” Shepard brought their foreheads together again. “It’s a very touching and beautiful gesture, just like kissing is for humans. I’m glad I can share that with you.” He smiled, still looking into his eyes. 

“I’ve never met anyone like you, Shepard.”

Shepard’s heart fluttered as he brought his other arm up and around Garrus’ neck, intertwining his fingers together. “In a good way?” 

“ _ Absolutely _ ,” Garrus purred. 

“I’m not that great-”

“You’re one to talk, defensive hypocrite.”

They laughed and rocked their heads back and forth together. 

“You treat me so well, Shepard,” Garrus continued, “like an equal. And, it means a lot to me.”

Shepard gave him a light peck on his nose and returned to their forehead kiss. He smiled and closed his eyes, relishing in their tender moment. “I like to give what I receive, is all.” 

Garrus opened his eyes. “Oh yeah?”

Before Shepard could have ever thought about reacting, Garrus shot his arms up and wrapped one around his torso, the other around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. 

Like a jet, Garrus shot his tongue into Shepard’s mouth. Shepard was taken aback by the sudden intrusion, and was even more shocked at just how much tongue was physically in his mouth. But Garrus held a firm grip around his neck so he couldn’t escape. 

Eager to discover more, Shepard retaliated with his own tongue, and flicked it up and down with Garrus’. He ran it up and down its length, not completely convinced that all of it was even in his mouth. 

When Garrus pulled away for a quick breath, Shepard darted open his eye to get a good look at it. His tongue was a dark blue color, closely resembling his face markings. It didn’t round out at the top like a human’s, but rather came down to more of a point, which intrigued him. And he was right about not having all of it in his mouth, his tongue was  _ long.  _

Barely a second later, the approvingly obtrusive tongue was back in Shepard’s mouth, scanning itself over every inch of his interior. Their tongues danced together, licking up and down one another and playfully fighting. 

Due to the insane length of it, Garrus wrapped his tongue around Shepard’s and tugged on it. 

Shepard couldn’t believe his senses. Just when he thought Garrus’ skin consisted of the oddest and most unique textures he had ever felt, he wasn’t prepared for the turian’s tongue. 

The top of Garrus’ tongue consisted of his taste buds, and they were very sticky. He could feel himself get kind of stuck when he ran over the top of it, which he could tell Garrus used to his advantage, hence all of the tugging to bring him in closer.

The bottom of his tongue, however, was quite the opposite. It was one of the slickest and most slipperiest things he’d ever touched. Gliding his tongue along the bottom of it made him feel as though it was ice skating. 

So when Shepard felt Garrus wrap his tongue around the entirety of his own tongue again and pulled, he literally couldn’t help but get thrusted forward from the force. The euphoria of his tongue stuck on the sticky taste buds, while sliding around the slippery bottom at the same time was something he never knew he needed.

Shepard knew that human tongues were quite strong, but he couldn’t imagine how strong Garrus’ was. He was struggling to keep up. Garrus made one last hard tug on his tongue, and Shepard got lunged forward. He clamped his lips down on Garrus’ in order to support himself.

Stopping to catch their breath, Garrus retracted the length of his tongue back into his mouth while Shepard wiped a slick gleam of saliva off his chin. 

They stared at each other as their chests expanded up and down. They were speechless, both surprised by Garrus’ initiative. 

Well, Shepard was always a man of his word, so he gave what he received. 

He threw his face forward and latched it onto Garrus’. Their lips smashed together over and over as they continued leaning their heads in new directions. 

Making sure their faces were never not touching, Shepard quickly began to adjust his body and straddled himself over Garrus’ legs again. He sat down into his lap and firmly held onto both sides of his face as he gracelessly kissed all over his mouth. 

Garrus kept pulling Shepard into him tighter, flailing his arms all up and down his back, occasionally running his talons over his neck. This made Shepard shudder against his chest, which only gave him the incentive to do it more. 

Their lips fought together for a few minutes, while their hands and arms continued to wander over each other. Besides their lips smacking, the only sounds they made were the periodic, pleasurable grunts and moans. 

Shepard rubbed his palms against Garrus’ face, memorizing every line. He traced the outlines of his mandibles (which flexed every time he moaned), twiddling the thin ends by his chin in between his fingers like toothpicks. He felt his body melt every time Garrus’ subvocals vibrated through him. 

Garrus got busy tracing Shepard too, outlining his (alien to him) ears, and running his fingers along that delicious jawline. His closed eyes rolled in the back of his head every time Shepard moaned. 

The only times they broke apart were when they needed to get a short breather, or to get a quick, sensual glimpse into each other’s eyes, before they’d close them again and continue passionately making out. 

Shepard kissed every inch of Garrus’ mouth he could find. He kept hooking his lips onto Garrus’, friskily biting at them. He was again surprised by the rough, leathery exterior and the soft interior of his lips, concocting another blend of unique textures.

Garrus touched a specific spot on Shepard’s back that made him lurch backwards and arch up, letting out a deep growl.  _ I’ll have to remember that spot,  _ he thought. 

Shepard bent down and looked devilishly into Garrus’ eyes, before he leaned back down into his face again, exhaling steamy breath onto his mouth as he gripped the sides of his face.

Shepard stuck his tongue out and traced the ‘W’ shape that made Garrus’ upper lips. He flicked his tongue in and out of his mouth, lightly going back and forth between the rough and soft textures. 

Garrus brought his tongue to the front of his mouth, desperate to meet it with Shepard’s. 

Shepard caught on, however, and made sure to avoid it as much as possible. He snickered as he felt Garrus’ tongue chase his own, reveling in the annoyed growls that shook his core. Every time Shepard made contact with his tongue, he made sure to retract it as soon as possible before Garrus could feel complete satisfaction. 

Garrus tightened his grip around Shepard, destined to get his tongue in his mouth, but realized their bodies were already as close as they could have possibly been. He growled again as he frantically searched his mouth. 

Shepard, fed up with his own teasing, relinquished his tongue into Garrus’ mouth, exploring the hot, slick caverns. The turian’s mouth was so wet, which only made it more fun for him to slide around in. He ran his tongue over his teeth, swerving in and out of them, and poking the sharp tips. 

Their tongues finally met in the center of Garrus’ mouth and pirouetted together, just as their bodies had done on Purgatory the night before. 

Shepard moved his hands down to Garrus’ neck and found his favorite spot. He furiously rubbed his thumbs over that sensitive area-

In a flash, Garrus pushed Shepard out of his mouth, caught him against the inside of his arm, swung him around, and slammed him down onto the (soft) couch. 

Shepard’s arms flopped down at his sides as he frantically tried to figure out what was happening. Before he could move, Garrus pinned his shoulders down, got on top of him, and stared down at him in a predatory gaze. 

For a few moments, he felt intimidated by the large turian looming over him, but that soon vanished as a wave of arousal and excitement flooded his nerves. 

Entranced by their natural instincts, both men mightily clamped their mouths together and attempted to swallow each other’s tongues. Their grunts kept getting louder, which only fueled their desires even more. 

They refused to separate their mouths as they found a faster rhythm, sucking on each other’s lips for extra pleasure. 

Shepard ran his hands up and down Garrus’ back, his fingers forcibly bending to scratch him every time he felt the long blue tongue punch him. 

Garrus cupped one of his hands against Shepard’s face, rubbing his thumb against his brown eyebrow, while the other maneuvered up and down his chest, feeling the tight skin beneath his sweatshirt. 

He felt something small and incredibly stiff on Shepard’s chest as his fingers wandered.  _ This has gotta be his - nipple,  _ he thought as his lips were smothered in kisses,  _ I heard they can stimulate-  _

His thought was answered before he could even think about finishing it. As soon as he rubbed his nipple, Shepard fastened his lips onto Garrus’, and sucked super hard as he let out a high pitched moan. The human roughly and  _ slowly  _ slid down his lips, all while continuing to stylishly combat with his tongue.

Excited to see what he would do next, Garrus rubbed both of Shepard’s hard nipples with both of his hands. 

Shepard clasped his hands down onto Garrus’ sides, tugging at his undersuit. Every time he arched his head back, Garrus pulled him back in with his magnificent tongue. Their lips did not tire from kissing each other. 

They both leaned their heads sideways in order for their mouths to fit into each other more. Shepard clamped his plump lips around Garrus’ tongue. Garrus shuddered as he felt the sensation of sliding his tongue out of Shepard’s soft flesh. 

He continued to rub Shepard’s nipples, rotating both of his thumbs in different directions. This proved effective, as the human gasped and bit his lip. Shepard bucked his hips upwards, but Garrus held him down with a firm grip. 

Shepard reached his arms out and moved his hands down Garrus’ body until he found his stiff, wide hips. He stretched out his fingers and gripped them firmly, moving Garrus in a back and forth motion. 

Garrus didn’t even realize Shepard was rocking him, as he was too focused on the human’s tongue and nipples. He enjoyed the movement though, as the further he went up, the deeper his tongue went down Shepard’s throat. 

He could feel Shepard push down on his waist, moving him closer to his own. Shepard wrapped his legs around his leg spurs, locking their bodies together. He felt a tightness in his groin as his plates started to shift.  _ Spirits… _

He tickled the top of Shepard’s nipples, flicking them with his talons. 

Shepard yelped out another high pitched moan and fought out from under Garrus’ grip. He bucked his hips upward again and collided with Garrus’. 

Garrus felt something extremely hard rub against him through Shepard’s sweatpants.  _ SPIRITS!  _

It kept rubbing against him as he played with the hard nipples.

_ Mmmm, fuuuuck,  _ they thought in unison. 

Shepard brought his hands up to Garrus’ neck and filleted his fingers over its surface. As he felt the long blue tongue wrap around his again, he stroked that ever-so familiar sensitive spot on the turian’s neck-

Garrus tightened up his entire body. 

Shepard knew what was going to happen next, so before he could get thrown around again, he retracted his hands and twirled his arms around Garrus’, in order for them to go down together.

Garrus seized his body and tipped over. Shepard, caught in his own pretzel knot, careened with him. They both flipped off the couch and crashed onto the floor. Shepard landed on Garrus’ chest before untangling his arms and legs and flopping down beside him. 

They both stared at the ceiling for a long time, breathing heavily, unable to find the words to describe what had just happened. 

“That was something,” Shepard finally managed to get out.

“Yes...it was,” stammered Garrus.

“I don’t believe that you’re ‘lucky,’ this can’t have been the first time you’ve kissed someone.”

“Honest.”

“It was so natural, like you’re _v_ _ ery  _ e xperienced. I’m really the first one?”

“Really.”

“Then, I’m honored.” Shepard blushed.

“I…” Garrus brought up a hand and fidgeted with a loose string on his undersuit, “I...hope it was okay.”

Shepard darted a look at him. “Are you kidding? That was  _ amazing. _ ” He moved closer to Garrus and brought their foreheads together. They exhaled a sigh of relief at the same time. 

Shepard walked his fingers across Garrus’ chest and grabbed hold of his fidgeting hand. As alien as they looked, Garrus’ hands felt the most human compared to the rest of his body. The skin felt identical to Shepard’s; soft to the touch with firm muscle and dilated veins. 

Despite taking detailed tours of their mouths, it took them a moment to ease into each other’s hands. Their fingers eventually unstiffened and relaxed, calmly wrapping into their grasp. 

It felt a little awkward for Shepard at first. Not having an identical amount of fingers overlapping his, his middle and ring fingers were forced to press against each other like a drell’s. 

He forgot all about that though, when he heard Garrus purring. He looked over at the turian next to him, who was fast asleep on the floor. 

Shepard gently scooted up against him and nestled his face into his neck, keeping their hands from coming undone. The purrs from Garrus’ chest, along with his steady heartbeat, resonated into Shepard’s ears, filling him with the most calming of eases. 

He tugged a thin blanket from off the arm of the couch and spread it over the top of their bodies. He rubbed Garrus’ thumb with his own, amazed (again) by its human-like smoothness. 

Glyph continued to fill the apartment with the most peaceful song. 

Shepard’s eyelids started to become heavy and droopy as he listened to the music, the fake crackling fire, and Garrus’ breathing. 

He looked up at the turian, who looked undeniably peaceful and relaxed in his sleep. He planted a soft kiss on his shoulder, and smiled at the rumbling purr it elicited from his chest. 

The floor had never been so comfortable. 


	8. Practicing and Distracting

POP!

Shepard jolted awake at the sound of a gunshot ringing in his ears. He frantically sat up, throwing the thin blanket off of him. 

It was just the stupid fireplace again. He lied back down and rubbed his sleepy face.

“That’s gonna get old  _ real _ fast,” he groaned. 

He stretched, expecting to feel slightly stiff from sleeping on the floor. Except he wasn’t on the floor. He was sprawled across the soft couch with a comfy pillow underneath his head. 

Garrus wasn’t there. 

He sat up again and looked around the apartment. Garrus wasn’t in the kitchen, and looking through the fire, he saw that he wasn’t on the other side of the living room either. 

Glyph had stopped playing the piano. The only sound in the apartment was the crackling of the fake gunshot fireplace.

The sky outside turned a deep purple, a light-green haze overlapping it, with white stars snapping into view. The buildings in the distance flickered on their red and yellow lights, the mismatched-shaped windows adding extra colors into the sky. Long, limousine-like shuttles whizzed around. It was nighttime on the Citadel. 

Shepard got off the couch, cracked his knuckles and stretched out his body some more. The snaps and pops of his joints and bones rivaled with those of the fireplace. 

He checked his omni-tool. 7:30 flashed in his face.  _ I could eat,  _ he thought. Making his way to the kitchen, he continued scrolling through his notifications, hoping Garrus had left him a message as to where he’d gone. 

Sweaty, he rolled up his sleeves and sweatpants and shivered at the cool breeze blowing on him from the vent down by his legs. 

Toasting inside his baggy sweatshirt against the roaring fire, he had almost been unbearably hot making out with Garrus. He had desperately wanted to take the sweatshirt off, but was afraid of advancing too fast. He didn’t want to potentially overstay his welcome, he wanted to move at Garrus’ pace. If anything, it was a decent workout. 

He opened the fridge and eyed some sandwich materials. The cold air felt pleasing against his warm skin.

He heard the sound of running water coming from the other room. He left the kitchen and headed down the hall that led to the bathroom. When he got there, he poked his head around the corner and made one helluvan effort to contain his laughter. 

Garrus was standing there, washing his hands. Bent over the sink, he was leaning his face in towards the mirror. He was making odd shapes with his mouth, struggling to stretch out his plates.

It looked to Shepard as though he was trying to kiss his reflection. Hiding around the corner, he could feel giggles fighting to burst out of him.

He couldn’t think of the sight being anything other than precious though; the big, stalky turian standing in front of the mirror, kissing the air and moving his head around to look at his lips from different angles. He felt his heart hug itself. 

Garrus stuck his chin out, thinking it would do something for him. He huffed to himself, turned off the sink, and turned to leave the bathroom.

“Whatcha doin’??” said Shepard.

Garrus jumped a mile backwards and shot his arms down behind his back. His eyes were bulged as wide as his mandibles, which were flaring extra hard. 

“Um...nothing,” he muttered.

Shepard chuckled. “What  _ were  _ you doing?”

“Er...washing my hands.”

“Come on, silly! What were those faces you were making?” He leaned against the doorway with his arms folded, biting his lip to contain more laughter. 

Garrus looked down at the floor and shuffled his feet together. His current image would have been under ‘caught off guard’ in a dictionary. 

“I can’t really...purse my lips properly,” his subvocals reverberated as his mandibles flexed, “and kissing me couldn’t have been that fun…”

Shepard stood up straight and brought his arms down. “What are you talking about?” He was amazed at the teddy bear of a turian standing before him, his hands behind his back and his knees buckled together, looking as if he had done something wrong. 

“It couldn’t have been that satisfying on your -  _ wonderful _ \- human lips is all...so I just felt like I should practice-”

“Garrus. It was  _ very  _ satisfying.”

“Are you sure?”

“ _ Yes. _ ”

“Well, that’s good...I guess I was just practicing for myself then...so I could learn.”

Shepard lowered his eyebrows at Garrus. His lips curled into a devilish grin and his eyes flickered. He just barely opened his mouth and spoke in a hushed, seductive tone:

“ _ Then why don’t you show me what you learned? _ ”

Garrus looked up at him and met his flickering eyes. He didn’t need to be asked twice. 

He marched towards Shepard, grabbed both of his shoulders, paraded him backwards, and pinned him up against the hallway wall. He locked his lips against Shepard’s and wasted no time devouring his mouth with his long tongue. 

Shepard let out multiple deep breaths as he threw his arms around Garrus and retaliated with his own rough kisses. He pulled the turian closer to him, running his hands up and down every inch of his back.

Garrus explored Shepard’s body too, maneuvering his hands down the human’s chest, back to his shoulders, and folding his large hands around his neck. 

With every moan Shepard let out, Garrus would flick his tongue against his, and glided them along his teeth. He could tell how much Shepard loved getting his tongue wrapped around his, so he made him beg for it. 

Like when he had teased Garrus earlier, Shepard was getting aggravated that the long texture-covered tongue kept avoiding his own.  _ Payback’s a bitch _ , he thought. 

Shepard moved his hands up to Garrus’ neck, toying with all of the spots he knew he liked. The excited and sensual rumbles from Garrus’ chest made his whole body tingle with every kiss they shared. 

He thought about touching  _ that  _ sensitive spot on his neck, to see about getting his tongue wrapped up again, but he didn’t want to push it. 

The next time he felt the slightest tip of Garrus’ tongue on his lips, he gently bit down on it and dragged it into his mouth by his teeth. He filled his mouth with it as much as he could, gave Garrus a quick peck, then forcefully pursed his lips around it. 

He  _ slowly  _ sucked down the entire length of his sticky and slimy blue tongue, embracing the textures he felt against his own. The deep  _ Mmmm _ that Garrus growled aroused him like nothing ever had before.

Garrus enveloped Shepard in his arms, one around his lower back, the other around his neck. Feeling his soft human lips going down his tongue felt nothing short of amazing. He tugged Shepard into him some more.

Still supported against the wall, Shepard lifted up his left leg and wrapped it around Garrus’ hip. He rubbed their waists together as he let go of the tongue and nipped at his lips. 

Garrus began to turn around, bringing Shepard with him. Never pausing their session, they continued making out as they spun down the hall.

They would turn around and Garrus would be pinned against the wall. Then they would turn again, and Shepard would be back against the wall. This continued until there was no more wall to be pinned against.

As they turned around again, they were shocked to find no more wall, but kept holding onto each other and continued making out anyway. Shepard stumbled backwards until Garrus led him into the kitchen and slammed him up against the refrigerator. 

Whatever was hanging on the metallic surface had fallen off from the impact, and the entire chilled box rocked backwards as Shepard leaned back into it, sucking on the ends of Garrus’ lips. 

They both quickly opened their eyes to look at each other to see what they looked like when they were making out. Surprised by meeting each other’s eyes, they snarled in unison and continued swallowing each other.

Garrus had to lean down slightly since he was so tall, but was grateful when Shepard occasionally stood on his tiptoes. He pressed his chest against his, feeling the human’s heart beat against it. 

Shepard let his hands trail down Garrus’ body until they gripped both sides of his waist. He tugged it closer so it rubbed against his own again. They both groaned in satisfaction.

Without breaking their kisses, he bent down a little, grabbed under Garrus’ legs, and hoisted him into the air. 

Not expecting to be lifted off the ground, Garrus flung his arms around Shepard’s shoulders and twisted his legs around his back. Forgetting the human was incredibly strong, he let his tongue get sucked again as a reward for the arousing surprise.

He could feel Shepard’s muscles flexing as he lifted him, as well as those ever-so exciting hard nipples.

Shepard carried him over to the kitchen table and set him on top of it, relishing from the wet tongue inside his mouth. 

Garrus’ legs put pressure against Shepard’s back in order to bring them in closer together. When he had finally scooted to the edge of the table, Garrus moved his feet along the backs of Shepard’s legs. 

He could feel Shepard lightly thrusting against him. He scratched the human’s back while his other hand journeyed upwards. He trailed his fingers against the back of his head and through his thick hair, shuddering as he felt goosebumps appear under his hand. 

Shepard moaned at the feeling of being completely wrapped up by Garrus’ arms and legs. 

He brought his hands down and scraped his fingernails up and down the turian’s thighs, feeling the tight undersuit move along with them. 

He felt the turian’s leg spurs against his hips, so he trailed his hands down to them and stroked them in between his firm palms. Garrus seemed to like that, as he shoved his tongue in his mouth even deeper and let out another set of seductive rumbles. 

Their crotches ferociously rubbed up against each other, leading to gritted teeth and ravishing moans from the both of them. Their eyes flicked at each other as they continued rubbing and kissing and tonguing one another. 

“ _ Keelah,  _ what is that sound?”

They froze in the most awkward position; their mouths stupidly open and Garrus on top of the table with his legs stretched out. 

“Hello??”

Garrus’ omni-tool was open and blinking on his arm. Tali’s face was plastered on the electronic screen.

“Um...hey Tali,” said Garrus. 

“Are you sitting on a table?”

“Er- yes, I am.”

“What were those weird sounds?”

“I - um...didn’t mean to call you, Tali.” 

“And whose arm is that??”

Shepard’s arm was clearly visible in the camera, stretched out across Garrus’ body. They were still completely frozen.

“Uhh, hey Tali!” said Shepard off-screen.

“ _ Shepard _ ??”

Tali started giggling uncontrollably, her face obviously blushing under her helmet.

Shepard blushed too and Garrus’ mandibles flared. They slowly joined her laughter, still in shock of the sudden moment. 

“Am I still going to see you tonight, Garrus?” asked Tali once her giggles had died down.

“Yes. I was just about to leave, but I...got a little - distracted.”

Tali broke out into another giggle fit. “Okay, okay!” she managed to get out, “I can wait for twenty minutes while you get yourself - situated!” She screeched underneath her helmet. “Let me know when you’re almost here. As you were!”

She logged off the call and Garrus’ omni-tool closed. 

Shepard and Garrus stood (and sat) frozen in that position for another minute, before they finally chuckled nervously, then broke out into howling laughs like Tali’s. 

Shepard, as red as Omega’s exterior, helped Garrus off the table. 

When they stopped laughing and caught their breath, Shepard looked longingly up at Garrus, met his piercing blue eyes, and gracefully wrapped his arms around him. 

Garrus returned the hug, cradling Shepard’s head in one of his big hands. He purred and hummed while they stood hugging in the kitchen. 

“What are you and Tali gonna do?” asked Shepard.

“There’s that casino nearby that she wants to check out. She said she ‘has some money to waste.’” replied Garrus.

“Ooo, that sounds fun!” 

“Should be. Wrex wasn’t available to play bodyguard tonight, so I stepped in.”

“That’s smart of her. Because if I saw you there, I wouldn’t want to mess with you.” He bit his lip and tickled Garrus’ chest with his finger. 

“Well, you seem to be doing a damn good job of doing that.” Garrus glared down at the blushing Commander and gave him a loving kiss. 

“What time are you supposed to be there?”

“Well, I was  _ supposed _ to be there at 7:45.” He checked his omni-tool. It read 8:00. They had made out for a long time. 

“Garrus!” Turning red again, Shepard tightened his hug. “You should have told me!”

“I was going to, but like I said, I got... _ distracted _ .” He nibbled the side of Shepard’s ear.

“I’m sorry.” Shepard chuckled embarrassingly. 

“It’s okay, Shepard. I had a pretty good reason to be distracted.”

They shared another sweet kiss and started walking towards the apartment’s front door. Before Garrus opened it, Shepard hung back. 

“I could walk you to the casino if you want,” he said. “There’s some extra groceries I want to get, the store’s nearby there.” He shuffled his feet and twiddled his fingers like a shy schoolboy asking someone to the dance. “Then we could meet back here later, if you want.” He forced out a nervous smile. 

Garrus felt his heart flutter, but determined to keep his familiar, hardened exterior, chuckled in response. “Sure, Shepard. Sounds like a plan.”

Shepard walked forward and went to open the door, but Garrus stopped him. 

“I don’t know how you humans feel about P.D.A., but I don’t think many people would approve if I did  _ this  _ in public-”

He grabbed Shepard’s shoulder, leaned in, and shoved his tongue inside his mouth. He felt Shepard grab his waist again as they passionately sucked on each other’s lips. 

Garrus slowly retracted his long blue tongue out of Shepard’s mouth and snickered.

“Yeah,” said Shepard, flushed, “I don’t think they would.”

“Well, then I’m glad I got it out before we left.”

They brought their foreheads together for a short moment, and left the apartment hand in hand. 


	9. Autographs and Insecurities

Neither said much on the way to the casino. They simply took in the passing conversations of bustling citadelgoers and watched the occasional punk get thrown out of a bar.

Shepard was surprised by two things:

One, Garrus was the one to keep the conversation going when it died down. He pointed out multiple locations he wanted to go to with Shepard on shore leave; restaurants, shops, shooting ranges ( _Jack would like that_ ), etc. 

Two, Garrus kept a firm grip on Shepard’s hand for the whole duration of the walk. 

Neither of these things bothered Shepard though, just simply surprised him.

He had expected them to let go of each other’s hands when they meshed in with the crowd. He was comforted by the constant rubbing his thumb received by the curved edge of Garrus’ talon. 

He also expected to do most of the talking, but was stunned into silence by Garrus’ excited anticipation for future endeavors with him. All he could do was stupidly nod and smile whenever Garrus asked him a question. 

After Garrus brought up P.D.A., Shepard was unsure about how they would act together in public. He didn’t care what people thought about them, but he was worried that Garrus would be worried about what people thought about a human and a turian walking hand in hand together. 

As far as he was concerned, however, Garrus didn’t care, and the people around them were none the wiser. 

He couldn’t believe that it was still only the second day of shore leave. He almost had an entire four weeks left of leisure time with Garrus. He continued to listen to the turian talk and squeezed his hand tighter.

They eventually made their way to the casino where Tali was standing outside the entrance with her arms folded. 

“I never thought you’d let me have him,” she said as she hugged Shepard.

“Oh my gosh,” he said as he finally let go of Garrus’ hand.

“Do you think you’ll survive another few hours without him?”

“ _Stop it._ ” 

She laughed and hugged Garrus. “I’m waiting for a few more credits to transfer through my omni-tool and then we can head in.” She hiccuped. 

“Never did you already start drinking,” said Garrus. 

“Reminds me of someone…” said Shepard.

Garrus shot him a look that made him bite his lip.

Shepard felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned around and saw a little boy standing in front of him.

“I KNEW I recognized you, Commander Shepard!” the boy exclaimed. He shot his legs together and threw his hand up to his head in a salute.

“As you were, little man,” said Shepard.

“You have no idea how much you’ve inspired me, sir. I know you’re going to help us win this war!”

“Well, I appreciate that. Thank you.”

“I hope to be just like you some day!” The boy finally let down his salute.

“I...hope you don’t have to be…” 

The boy didn’t seem to hear him. “Will you sign my cast? It would mean the world to me.” He held up his other arm that was covered in a thick white cast. A marker was held in between his fingers protruding from the bandages. No names were written on the cast.

“Of course.” 

Shepard took the marker and started signing his name.

“Everyone is going to be so jealous when they see that Commander Shepard signed my cast!”

Garrus walked up behind Shepard, put his hands on his shoulders, and bent down next to his head.

“I’ll see you later tonight?” asked Garrus in a seductive growl. He nibbled the side of Shepard’s ear.

Shepard snickered and put their foreheads together. “Oh, I _certainly_ will.” 

Garrus made a show of sliding his hands off Shepard's shoulders as he walked away and into the casino with Tali.

Shepard capped the marker and held it out to the boy. 

With his eyebrows curled, the boy had a skeptical look carved into his face. He slowly held out his hand and reluctantly took the marker back.

“Um...thanks.” He couldn’t have sounded any more appalled. 

Shepard stood there, frozen. He felt his palms start to sweat.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the boy attempting to rub the autograph off of his cast as he turned the corner. 

If Shepard’s chest was glass, it began to crack with every beat his heart pounded against it.

* * *

Garrus strolled down the alley that led to Shepard’s apartment. Carrying two bottles of alcohol (one for him and one for Shepard), and humming along the way, he felt uncommonly youthful. 

He took out the spare key that Shepard had given him, unlocked the abnormally large front door, and entered the apartment. 

The lower floor was darkened, the crackling fireplace basking the furniture in an orange glow. 

He looked up to the second floor and saw that the bedroom was bathed in blue light. He heard smooth, ambient music echoing over the balcony. 

Taking extra strides in his already large steps, he made his way to the other side of the living room and placed the bottles in separate cupboards under the bar.

He hurried up the spiral staircase and entered the bedroom to find it...empty. 

“ _Hey, handsome_.”

Not expecting to hear a voice, Garrus jolted around. 

Shepard was leaning against the bathroom doorway, legs crossed, holding an N7 mug in his hands. The blue light had made it somewhat difficult to differentiate objects in the room. 

“What’re you drinking?” asked Garrus.

Shepard slowly glided across the room, put an arm around Garrus’ waist, and moved in circles around him, letting his hand trail across the turian’s back and stomach. 

“Nothing for you.” He took a sip out of his mug and shuddered, almost losing his balance. 

Garrus laughed. “One of these days, we really need to start drinking at the same time. I put some drinks downstairs-” 

He unwound himself from Shepard’s arm to head towards the stairs, but Shepard caught his hand before he could leave. 

Without saying a word, Shepard, staring at a spot on the wall, pulled Garrus in closer to him, then lightly pushed him in the opposite direction towards the dresser, where a makeshift bar sat, holding a bottle of a turian brandy and a few glasses. 

Garrus laughed again. “Wow, you’re always so thoughtful.”

“I try to be.” 

As Garrus poured himself a drink, he looked over at Shepard, who was standing in place, staring at the same spot on the wall.

“Is something wrong?”

Shepard said nothing, but seemed to be unconsciously tapping the side of his mug as he swayed in place.

“Shepard?”

Shepard finally broke out of his trance. “Hm?”

“Is something wrong?”

“Oh. No, nothing’s wrong.” He took another sip. “That kid I was talking to earlier was a bit of a prat, but I don’t want to talk about that.”

Shepard spun on the spot in time with a synthesized chord in the music. 

“What do you think about the lights?” he asked.

“Very atmospheric,” said Garrus as he began his drink.

“I agree. Multiple colors, tons of settings, strobes, anything you like. Completely customizable.” 

Shepard moseyed across the room toward him.

Garrus took in his appearance. He was wearing a dark-colored t-shirt and white fuzzy-looking socks. He squirmed at the sight of his boxer shorts, which revealed a welcoming amount of thigh.

Before he knew it, Shepard was right up against his front, standing on his tip-toes so they were equally face to face. Shepard put down his mug and ran his hands across his mandibles, tracing his facial markings. 

“But I prefer the blue,” Shepard whispered in his ear.

“Then blue it shall stay,” replied Garrus as he twisted his free arm around Shepard’s lower back. 

“But this needs to go.” Shepard stealthily unhooked the visor off of Garrus’ face and put it on his own.

“I completely forgot I was wearing it. I always have it on when I’m in public.”

“Well, I’m not the public.”

“No, you definitely are not.”

Shepard tapped the side of the visor a few times and scrolled through the electronic menus with his eye. 

“Although,” continued Garrus, “it looks much better on you than it does on me.”

“Does it now?” Shepard bit his lip as he brushed his legs against Garrus’. “I read somewhere that these can-”

He tapped another button and thin beams of light shot out of the visor, plastering the room’s walls and ceiling with tiny stars, accompanying the blue aura they stood in, aesthetically pleasing. 

“Perfect,” they said in unison. 

Garrus took a quick drink as Shepard took off the visor and placed it on the dresser.

Garrus then wrapped both of his arms around Shepard’s back as Shepard wrapped both of his arms around Garrus’ neck, still on his tip-toes. 

They turned their heads to their respective rights and kissed each other, exhaling against the cool texture of their skin and the easing sensation of their lips coming together.

Garrus leaned back against the dresser as Shepard lifted his leg and set his knee on top of it, giving his toes a more relaxing way to be taller. 

Garrus sighed pleasantly as Shepard explored his face with his lips. Shepard kissed his scarred mandible gently as he massaged the back of his neck with his fingers. 

Each purr Garrus’ subvocals rumbled only motivated Shepard more. He increased the amount of kisses he gave and began travelling down towards Garrus’ neck. 

Garrus twisted his leg around Shepard’s and scratched his back, firmly pressing his palms against it to bring him closer, which he happily obliged. 

Through their shirts, their chests rubbed against each other as Shepard lightly nipped parts of Garrus’ neck with his teeth, which led Garrus to move his body upwards and growl in his ear. 

Garrus swarmed the entirety of Shepard’s back with his hands before trailing them up to the sides of his face. Shepard brought his to the sides of Garrus’. 

They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, which were lost in the sea of blue lights, devilishly grinned, and smashed their faces together, devouring their tongues. 

Their force caused them to momentarily lose their balance, leading them to slam their hands against the dresser for support, clinking the glasses, but their tongues never lost contact. 

They chuckled through gasped breaths as their hands found each other again, ravishingly gripping their arms and longing to touch each other some more. 

Shepard traced the ‘W’ shape of Garrus’ upper lip with his tongue, running over Garrus’ as it swirled around the edge of his chin. 

Garrus took his turn to explore the rest of Shepard’s face, and licked all along the area of his cheeks and effortlessly dragged his sticky blue tongue along the length of his jawline. 

Garrus noticed Shepard’s eyes roll back in his head as he did this, which egged him on even further. He replicated the nips he received on Shepard’s neck, and felt Shepard digging his nails into his undersuit in response. He traced circles around a freckle that sat upon a certain spot on his neck that caused Shepard to react in all of the sexiest ways. 

Shepard found a way to hoist himself up onto the dresser, straddling himself over Garrus’ lap as he had done on the couch. He reciprocated the kisses, nips, and licks on Garrus’ neck. 

Garrus traveled his hands down to Shepard’s shoulders, his back, his waist, then his legs. He ran his palms over the man’s exposed thighs and purred at the feel of his smooth, firm skin. 

Shepard filleted Garrus’ chest, running his fingers through every groove and over every texture he could feel underneath the undersuit. 

Garrus curled his hands around Shepard’s thighs and lifted him off the dresser, causing Shepard to throw his arms around the slight hump in Garrus’ upper back and wrap his legs around his waist. He continued slathering his saliva on his tough neck. 

He leaned away from the dresser and began walking forward, his eyes set on the bed in front of him. He felt the sides of Shepard’s feet tracing his spine. He led his way back to that delicious jawline and Shepard returned the favor.

“ _This is_ \- _so hot_ ,” Shepard managed to sputter out between heavy breaths. 

He felt himself fall back against his soft bed, as well as the strong hands leave his legs and run up his stomach. 

He opened his eyes and found himself staring back into the piercing blue eyes of the turian supported over him. He was thoroughly intimidated; Garrus was quite larger than any human and looked overtly determined. He looked hungry. He looked like a predator that targeted his prey. He was okay with that.

Garrus hurled his head downward and shoved his tongue into Shepard’s mouth. He moaned while the human’s soft lips clamped down on it, keeping it from retracting. 

They slammed their eyes shut, forcefully making out and letting their hands wander each other’s torsos. 

His legs still wrapped around him, Shepard pushed his feet down on Garrus’ back, lowering him down onto him some more. There was barely any space between their bodies. 

Garrus buried his face into Shepard’s neck, and continued to tongue his new favorite place on his body. He loved every moan that his ears received. 

Shepard took note of this, because Garrus licked and kissed harder every time he moaned. He made sure to get extra close to Garrus’ ear and made each moan hot and breathy. He licked along the edges of the flexing mandible and heard the pleasurable murmurs as Garrus dug into his neck. 

He wanted more. 

He put even more pressure down on Garrus’ back, clung on, and turned their bodies around, swapping positions. 

Garrus, now flat on _his_ back, looked up at Shepard staring fervently down at him. He had never seen something so sexy in his entire life. 

Shepard lowered his head, bared his teeth, and lightly flicked his tongue against Garrus’ lips. 

Garrus stuck his tongue out to meet his, but Shepard quickly retracted it. Shepard lowered his head and licked his lips again, but quickly retracted his tongue again when Garrus went to meet it.

Shepard teased him two more times. His mouth curled into a grin and his eyes flickered when Garrus growled under his breath and began to sit up. 

“ _Come get me_ ,” sneered Shepard. 

Garrus kept shooting his tongue out, but Shepard was too fast. He jerked his back every time he tried to make an effort to swallow his tongue again. Garrus was getting fed up in all of the best ways. 

Now sitting completely upright, in the same straddled position they sat in on the couch, Garrus flattened both hands against Shepard’s back and pressed him forward, colliding their faces together. Garrus wrapped his long tongue around Shepard’s and pulled him into his mouth. 

“You cheated,” said Shepard when he finally fought for breath.

“In the end,” said Garrus, “I’ll _always_ get what I want.”

Shepard moaned deeply and sank into Garrus’ lap, letting the turian’s long arms encase him in his tight embrace. 

He still wanted more. He _needed_ more.

He wriggled Garrus’ arms off of him and lifted his own shirt off, revealing his bare chest and stomach to him. 

Garrus looked down at the chiseled body before him. Two identical pecs with hardened nipples made out his chest, while a clean set of abs vertically lined his stomach. He couldn’t speak. He never thought he would be in this kind of situation. 

“Well, like what you see?” asked Shepard. 

“ _Very much_ ,” replied Garrus. 

They began to make out again, rougher than usual, which was saying something. 

Garrus took no time in exploring Shepard’s bare body with his hands. He still could not comprehend how firm and smooth his skin was. 

Shepard loved the feeling of Garrus’ palms moving up and down his back. He constantly flexed, knowing he would get an extra swish of turian tongue in his mouth. 

He thumbed around Garrus’ undersuit, trying to find a removal seam. He longed to see Garrus shirtless. 

Garrus chuckled between breaths. “Here, Shepard.”

He did not like removing his hands from the human’s back, but knew they would be back there soon. He undid a small zip down the center of his suit and it came off him like a vest. 

Shepard looked down and was surprised to see - abs! 

He didn’t really know what to expect but a hardened carapace with multiple lines and grooves as if they were a complex maze. 

The lines and grooves were there, but not nearly as intense as he expected. A lot of the grooves he had felt under his undersuit were actually the bumps that formed his abs. He did a double-take at Garrus’ chest, he didn’t have nipples. 

Lines and grooves were much more prominent in Garrus’ arms. His arms were long and became thinner in his forearm. His upper arms were a bit thicker, especially towards the shoulders. The lines and grooves looked as if his individual strands of muscle overlapped each other, creating a mesmerizing design on his carapace. Shepard was overwhelmed by the amount of textures to explore.

He was silent a lot longer than Garrus had been when Shepard had taken his shirt off.

Garrus stirred. “Well...like what you see too?” His mandibles awkwardly flared. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” 

Shepard thrusted himself forward, threw his arms around Garrus’ body, and licked all over his neck. His hands frantically ran themselves over the entire surface of Garrus’ back, taking in every single one of its intricacies. 

They rubbed their torsos together, moving up and down in a concurrent motion. Their arms had never moved so much while they had made out before, as there were so many new places to discover. 

They both moved their heads down each other’s necks, sending kisses and dragging their tongues all the way down to their shoulders. They found each other’s skin so alien to their own, but it felt similar nonetheless and all too natural. 

Shepard moved in closer to Garrus so nothing could physically break in between them. He moved his hips in a circular motion, causing Garrus to moan in the most seductive manner.

Garrus felt Shepard’s fingers on the inside of the waistband of his pants below his back. He shivered as they moved around to his front, feeling slightly above his crotch. 

“Am I moving too fast?” asked Shepard between kisses on his collar ridge.

“No,” breathed Garrus.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Shepard moved his hand, grabbed one of Garrus’, and placed it on top of the huge bulge in his boxers. He then shoved his fingers back into Garrus’ pants. 

Garrus was unsure of what to do at first. He was shocked by Shepard’s initiative, and so flustered that he sat there for a minute as Shepard continued to kiss his way back up his neck and trace the grooves underneath his waistband. 

“It’s okay,” said Shepard. “You can touch it if you want.” 

Shepard’s kisses felt so good. He couldn’t believe that a thin piece of fabric was all that separated his hand and Commander Shepard’s... _thing_. He wanted to impress him, he didn’t want to seem like a fool. 

Even though it was a curved bulge in Shepard’s boxers, it still felt large in his hand. He cupped his hand around it and rubbed it, feeling it pulse against his palm, delighting in the steamy breaths Shepard exhaled in his ear. 

Shepard groaned with fascinating pleasure. He felt so good against Garrus’ _big_ hand. He couldn’t wait until it was skin on skin, but he would. He smiled when Garrus finally started kissing his neck again. 

He lowered his shoulder so he could kiss Garrus’ mouth once more, and they shared another few minutes of sensual making out, slapping their tongues against one another. 

Shepard began moving himself downwards. He slowly slid his knees off the bed, firmly pressing his hands against Garrus’ cool chest, planting wet kisses in an uneven line down his body. He licked along every ab and felt safe as Garrus’ hands slid up his back as he moved down. 

He fumbled his hands around the outside of Garrus’ pants as his knees hit the floor. A leg on either side of him, he looked up at Garrus looking down at him, mandibles flaring over and over again. Now, he really wished he could discern his expression. 

“Are you okay? Am I rushing things?” 

“No,” answered Garrus, “It’s just...is this what you want?”

“It is.”

“I just want to make sure...you’ve had a lot more to drink than I have.”

“I’m fine, I promise. Thank you for looking out for me. You’re always so caring.”

“I try to be.”

Shepard found a mini zip and undid the front of Garrus’ pants. They split apart down the middle as if he was unwrapping a present. Garrus sat up a little bit so Shepard could pull them down over his waist, he let them hang around his shins. 

Peeling Garrus’ pants away revealed...another set of plates. This didn’t surprise him though. 

“You’re going to have to wait for a bit-” started Garrus.

“Oh, I know,” said Shepard as he started tracing the outside of the plates with his fingers.

“How do you-?”

“I know things, Garrus Vakarian.”

Garrus silently gulped and twiddled his fingers together. “You...um, haven’t been with another turian...have you?”

“ _Pfft_ , no. I’ve only ever had my sights on you.”

“Okay then…”

“Does it usually take this long?”

“Uh, sometimes. I’m sorry-”

“ _Garrus_.” Shepard locked eyes with him. “Don’t apologize, I’m only messing with you. I love the anticipation…” He traced the grooves in the bit of revealed skin on Garrus’ legs next to his head. “I just hope you’re not uncomfortable.”

“No...of course not-”

Garrus’ thoughts fled his mind when he felt Shepard lick along the edges of his plates. He couldn’t help but look down, and felt the plates immediately start to shift at the sight of Shepard’s face buried in his crotch.

He thrust his hands down at his sides and gripped the bed sheets. He spread his legs a tad bit wider to make room. 

Shepard rubbed his hands over Garrus’ legs as he continued licking his plates, kissing the occasional groove. He advanced his hands towards the opening that the plates revealed. 

Garrus felt each of Shepard’s anticipated breaths, and squirmed under his tracing lips and fingers. Any minute now…

“Soon,” said Garrus.

“Mm, _yes_ ,” moaned Shepard as he kept licking the shifting plates.

Garrus could feel it getting bigger, it was going to shoot out so fast. Every full lap Shepard’s fingers made around the edges of his plates made him shudder. 

“Give it to me,” said Shepard.

“I want to give it to you.”

“Give it to me, Garrus.” 

“That’s working. Keep doing it.”

“ _Please_ , Garrus. I want it so bad.”

Any second now…

“I can’t wait any longer. I _need_ it. Please, Garrus, give it to me. I want to see it. I want to touch it. Come on Garrus, give it to me. _I want to suck your fucking dick so bad_.” 

Garrus’ eyes rolled back in his head and he let it go. 

Shepard moved his head to the side just in time for Garrus’ erect cock to spring out from in between the plates and slap him against his face. 

Shepard laughed and moaned at the same time, and straightened himself up to get a good look at it.

In terms of length, the turian penis was _big_ , way bigger than his own (which he considered to be decently sized). It was quite long, not unbearably, but long, and thinner than a human’s. 

It was a dark blue color with a beautifully symmetrical gray pattern. The head had a rounded point and was not that entirely different from his own. 

Aside from the color, the biggest difference was the _ridges_. All along the length of the shaft were symmetrical ridges, curving inward. He wouldn’t say it out loud, but the shape reminded Shepard of a dildo he had seen in a dirty magazine. 

Shepard gripped the erection with both hands and started feeling it. He felt it pulse against his palms. 

“This is amazing,” he said in amazement. 

“You’re just being modest.”

Shepard laughed through his bitten lip. 

He slowly stroked his hands down the length of it. He felt his fingers run over the ridges, moving up and down over them like waves. He started pumping his hands up and down the entire shaft. 

Garrus groaned, cherishing the feeling of Shepard’s firm hands around his hard cock. 

Shepard licked the surfaces of his palms, making them extra slick, and continued jerking Garrus off. “How does it feel?” he asked.

“You do that very well.”

Shepard put both of his hands together and gawked at the amount of shaft still uncovered. “Wow. I could fit a whole other hand on here.” He bent backwards and lined his face against it. “It’s literally the length of my whole head.” He continued stroking it. “ _It’s. So. Big._ ”

Determined to keep his hardened turian exterior, Garrus said, “Flattery will get you nowhere, Shepard.”

“Oh yeah? What if I do this?” Shepard stuck his tongue out and inched his head towards Garrus’ cock. 

“WAIT!”

Shepard froze. “What is it?”

Garrus messed around with his omni-tool and it let out a hissing noise. “Can’t forget about infusions. I don’t want to kill you now.” 

“Oh...right,” said Shepard. “I already took mine.”

“You did?”

“Before you came over. Just in case.”

“Oh...okay.” Garrus twiddled his fingers again, his mandibles flared. 

“It’s so sexy when you do that.” 

Shepard closed his eyes, opened his mouth, and stuck Garrus’ dick in it. He wrapped his lips around it, and slowly sucked down the head. He opened his eyes to see Garrus leaning back, staring at the ceiling. He chuckled and put his dick back in his mouth. 

He slowly moved his head up and down, flicking his tongue over whatever part of Garrus’ dick was in his mouth. He rotated his hands up and down whatever he could not fit in. 

Garrus groaned each time he felt Shepard’s lips around his tip. He looked down and groaned again. The sight of Shepard’s mouth and his hands around his cock, bathed in the blue light and tiny white stars was a beauty to behold. 

Shepard’s mouth was so wet. It felt unbelievable. He shuddered every time he could feel his tongue flick the inside of one of his ridges. 

Shepard began picking up the pace. He continually bobbed his head up and down, tightening and loosening his lips randomly. His hands followed suit. 

He came up for breath, spat into his hands, and lubed the entire surface of Garrus’ cock. He felt the turian writhe under his grasp. He snickered and got back to sucking his hard member. He loved every second of it, as did Garrus. 

He moved his lips towards the tip, and sucked on just it over and over, making sure to curve his lips every time he came across the sensitive area that separates the head and the shaft.

He turned his head this way and that, delivering all sorts of pleasures to his turian counterpart. He sped up some more, letting his hands grope the rest of the shaft in similar movements. 

He let the hard dick fling out his mouth so he could breathe, stuck his tongue out as far as it could go, and slapped it against it. He sucked the head a few more times.

He let his mouth let go of it, and spat into his hand again. He kissed up and down the side of Garrus’ cock, licking all around the shaft, while his hand jerked off the tip. He gyrated his hand over the head in such a rapid pace, Garrus let out his longest moan yet. 

He slowed down his hand just so he could encircle his finger around that sensitive area. He felt Garrus twitch every time he went over it, and since he fucking loved that, he lightly teased the surface of it with his finger and his fastly flicking tongue. 

He slobbered all over the tip of the dick, practically drowning it. He shoved it into his mouth again when he heard the turian’s subvocals rumble through his chest. 

Garrus brought his legs closer together, and wrapped them around Shepard’s back. As Shepard brought his mouth up to the head, Garrus pushed down on his back with his legs, forcing Shepard to suck as far as he could. When he felt him slightly gag, he released the pressure on his back so he could come up, then pushed down again.

They repeated this movement many times, pushing in and retracting, pushing in and retracting again. It was like breathing lungs going in and out. 

When Shepard’s head didn’t go down as far as he wanted, and resorted to using his tongue instead, Garrus combed his fingers through his luscious brown hair, gripped the back of his head, and shoved him down farther. He rolled his eyes in the back of his head, feeling the entirety of his hard cock pulsing in Shepard’s warm, damp mouth. 

Shepard let go of it for breath, but did not stop jerking it off with his hands. He made eye contact with Garrus, and smiled with spit all around his mouth. 

He kissed and licked the tip in between every other couple of words, “Yes, Garrus - be rough with me - when you want to be rough - I fucking love it - so much-”

Garrus shoved his head again, forcing the intrusion of the dick in his mouth to cut him off. He snickered and growled at the sensation of Shepard’s tongue abusing his wet shaft. 

Shepard’s hands stroking the bottom of his shaft and occasionally massaging his plates were the icing on the cake. Not only were Shepard’s soft, wet lips the most amazing thing he ever felt, his hands were doing just as much work and should not have been forgotten. 

Shepard sped up the pace again when he felt Garrus’ dick flex extra hard in his mouth. He had an educated guess as to what that meant. 

He moved his head and his hands up and down and didn’t stop, making sure to let out extra spit when it formed and lather it around with his tongue.

“ _Mmm. Spirits, Shepard_ ,” moaned Garrus.

“Hm? You want to give me something?” 

“ _Yes_. Keep going.”

“I’ll never stop if you want me to.” 

Garrus moaned again and gripped the bed sheets so hard that they flew out from under the corners of the mattress. 

Shepard licked all over the surface of the tip and shoved it back into his mouth again, gyrating his hands up and down with the same movements as his head.

Sucking his dick was anything but a chore. Just like having to wait for his plates to shift apart, the anticipation was one of the most fun parts. He knew the payoff would be worth it. 

He felt his dick flex hard again. “I’m ready, Garrus.”

“Mmm. I’m really close, Shepard.”

“Give it to me.” Shepard jerked off his head while he kissed and licked all around it. 

“I want to give it to you. _So bad_.”

“Fuck, I want it. I need it. _I want you to cum in my mouth, Garrus._ ”

Garrus let it all out. He moaned immensely and fell flat on his back just as Shepard shoved his dick into his mouth again. 

Shepard felt Garrus’ cum spill into his mouth and down the back of his throat. It was warm, and tasted like...frosting? That only made him want more. He slowly sucked his head again, eager for more to come out.

Garrus bucked his hips upward as Shepard toyed with the sensitive area (it was even more sensitive now!) with his lips. He felt the human’s hands slowly stroking the base of his shaft some more.

More cum drizzled out of his blue and gray cock and into Shepard’s mouth, and he heard Shepard’s moans of approval. 

After a minute or two, Shepard finally drained the last bit of tasty cum. His knees gave way, and he slumped backwards and sat on the floor. He gently rubbed the part of Garrus’ exposed leg.

They didn’t even realize the music had stopped. The only sound in the room was their heavy breathing. 

Garrus sat up. Shepard glared at him as he wiped off the cum that was still on his chin, then sensually sucked it off of his finger. 

Shepard got up, climbed onto the bed and curled up against the pillows. “Come here,” he said.

Garrus pulled up his pants and crawled onto the bed next to him. 

They held each other’s arms and rubbed their feet together. They stared into each other’s blue eyes, smiling.

“That was...amazing, Shepard.”

“I’m glad. I've wanted to do that for a _very long_ time." 

They closed their eyes with their foreheads resting together.

* * *

Garrus opened his eyes. 

He felt exceptional. The last couple days had been extraordinary. He discovered new things about himself and Shepard, and was excited for where the rest of shore leave would go. 

He looked at Shepard, who was still sleeping. He seemed so incredibly peaceful, unlike when he found him in the bar in the lounge on the Normandy, or in the main battery, venting to his heart’s desire. He was glad that he finally got to watch him sleep. 

He turned on his back and stared up at the ceiling for a while. It was still dark outside. He checked his omni-tool. It was three in the morning. 

He stretched and felt his hand brush a datapad on the side table. He jumped as it started playing a video. 

He heard sensual sounds. He heard the growling subvocals of a turian and the moaning of a human male. 

He chuckled under his breath. _Never did this son of a bitch record it_ , he thought. He sat up on the edge of the bed and pulled the datapad close to him.

His heart stopped. 

It was not a video of him and Shepard, but a video of a random turian and a random man. The man was sucking the turian’s dick, while the turian was pushing on the back of the human’s head. 

_Why was he watching this…?_ thought Garrus. 

It was a long video consisting of the man and turian performing countless sexual acts upon each other. He skipped forward and backward throughout it, his heart beating hard against his chest. He stopped the video and went to close the tab.

To his surprise, he saw twenty-six tabs open. 

He saw on the next one, the edge of a turian’s face. He reluctantly opened it, and saw the turian was fully naked, sprawled out on a couch. 

He scrolled through the rest of the tabs. 

Every single one of them had some sort of naked turian on it, groping themselves in sexual manners or posing in seductive fashions. Some had more videos of them with naked human males, some were digital dirty magazines. 

He turned off the datapad and felt his mandibles flare in a way they had never had before. What was he feeling?

“What are you doing up?”

Garrus didn’t look around at Shepard. He felt Shepard crawl towards him, wrap his hands around his shoulders and kiss the top of his back.

Garrus shook him off and stood up.

“What’s wrong?” Shepard sounded genuinely concerned. 

Garrus showed him the datapad. “Why were you looking at that stuff on here?”

Shepard was silent for a moment. “Wanna watch them with me?”

Garrus was taken aback. “Am I not good enough for you?”

“...What?”

“Am I. Not. Good enough for you?”

“Wha- of course you are-!”

“Then why were you looking at this stuff?”

“I wanted to learn!”

“About what?”

“About turians.”

“What about them?”

“Their biology, how they work- how _you_ work.”

Garrus stood there.

“That’s how I knew you’d have plates covering your...thing, and how I wouldn’t need to take any infusions. We’d be safe without them.”

“What?”

“Every article I’ve read and every video I’ve seen, they all say turian and human intercourse isn’t dangerous.”

“ _What?_ ” 

“Isn’t that great?”

“So you lied to me?”

“I didn’t really mean to, I just didn’t want to put anything in my body if I didn’t really need to.”

Garrus huffed. “Well, you certainly put a lot in your body tonight.”

Shepard laughed. “Yeah, I certainly did-”

“I don’t think this is funny, Shepard. _At all_.” 

“No...of course not-”

“I never thought you would lie to me.”

“Garrus...I’m sorry-”

“How do I know you haven’t lied to me before?”

“I haven’t!”

“Have you honestly never been with another turian before?”

“Honest. You’re the first, and I’d like you to be the only-”

“Why did you really watch this stuff?”

“I told you, I wanted to learn.”

“You didn’t watch those videos and look at those pictures because you’re unsatisfied with me?”

“I’m so incredibly satisfied with you. You are much more attractive and handsome and sexy than anyone else on that datapad, I was so surprised by your great body,” he pointed at his chest and abs, “because no other turian I’ve seen has one as good as yours. I genuinely just wanted to learn.”

“Why couldn’t you have just asked me about turians then, if I’m the only one you want to be with?” 

“I-”

“I think I know a lot about my own species.”

“I’m not saying you do, I just-”

“Then why did you do it??” Garrus held up the datapad in frustration.

“I didn’t want to bum around and make things awkward. I wanted to impress you!” 

“I can think of a million things in this world that impress me more than a decent blowjob, Shepard.”

Shepard stood there. The silence in the room was earsplitting. 

“To me,” started Garrus, “relationships are about communication-”

“Me too, honestly-”

“ _Let me finish, dammit!_ ” He glared at Shepard and his mandibles flared menacingly. “Expressing our feelings to each other, asking questions, being _honest_ . You going out of your way to not bother asking me these things yourself, makes me feel like you don’t trust me. It makes me feel like, again, that I’m not good enough for you. Do you know how insecure I feel, knowing that you watched all these videos, when _I’m_ here to…never mind. I’ve pretty much said what I need to say.”

“Garrus...I’m so sorry…”

“It’s whatever, Shepard. It’s not like couples haven’t watched porn together. Well, we’re not a couple anyway, so what does it matter?” 

“But Garrus, I want to be a couple with you.”

Garrus’ mandibles flared and he looked at the floor. “I don’t like being _lied to_ , Shepard.” 

“I’m not lying, I promise. I’m so sorry…” he walked forward and put his hands on the side of Garrus’ face. He held their foreheads together and caressed his thumbs along his scars. He moved his thumbs over to his neck and unknowingly touched that sensitive spot-

Garrus lurched back. “QUIT FUCKING TOUCHING THAT SPOT!”

Both were frozen. A look of utter rage on Garrus’ face, utter terror on Shepard’s. 

Garrus took a few deep breaths, hung his head, and looked at his omni-tool. “I’m tired.”

Shepard walked towards him and went for his hand. “Me too. Come on, let’s go back to bed and we can talk this through in the morning-”

“I’d rather sleep on the couch by the fire. _Alone_.”

Garrus set the datapad back on the side table, grabbed the top of his undersuit off the bed, and walked out of the room and down the stairs without taking another look at Shepard.


	10. another update...another delay...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to have to disappoint everyone yet again.

The chapter is almost completed.

It's not finished yet because of family problems.

In two months I'm moving out...so hopefully those family problems won't continue. 

Shit was finally starting to slow down, but these next few days are going to be too unpredictable. 

The chapter will be out by the end of next week. I promise.

\- A disappointed and frustrated person who hopes that you extend your faith in them just a little bit longer.


End file.
